desperately real housewife

Remembering Rev. Martin Luther King, Jr.

2012-01-15T16:06:00.000-08:00

"Human progress is neither automatic nor inevitable... Every step toward the goal of justice requires sacrifice, suffering, and struggle; the tireless exertions and passionate concern of dedicated individuals."

-MLK

individuals of great faith, character and drive to see the world's wrongs rectified, are not found in great abundance. however, when confronted by an individual like Reverend Martin Luther King, Jr., whose allotment of these qualities was predetermined by our Heavenly father... injustice shakes in it's boots!

when faced with such blatant opposition, many weaker men would go belly up, but Dr. King's strength is a true testament to the power of God and what He can/will bring you not only to but THROUGH!

today we celebrate the life of one of our nation's greatest civil rights leaders. without going into a full bio, suffice it to say, his strong beliefs of justice and relentless tenacity for equality helped shape the world in which i live, drastically.

i've included an excerpt from his final, somewhat prophetic sermon, delivered April 3, 1968, a day before his untimely death:

Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.

John 15:13

no ifs, ands or butts...

2011-12-27T07:13:00.000-08:00

i am positive this is not an actual Nike ad, but i love it just the just the same! and in case you didn't know... my butt is big!!!

btw, i promise to actually blog and not just share Pinterest repins soon. xo

#teamFitMom

2011-12-12T06:35:00.000-08:00

YESSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *tee hee*

my so-called reading list...

2011-12-11T06:50:00.001-08:00

first on my reading list for 2012:

"With humility and humor, Sara sets out to pursue the Proverbs 31 characteristics through immersing herself in all things domestic, but when her family's situation changes and she must return to a full-time job, she's forced to look at the Proverbs 31 woman with a whole new viewpoint.

This thought-provoking, surprising, and entertaining personal account will inspire women to try their own experiments in living out God’s purpose for their lives."

can't wait!

incompetence at its best!

2011-12-11T03:34:00.001-08:00

i'm #losing as a housewife for not knowing how to complete this simple domestic task, but here i am this morning ready to make homemade egg nog (trying to keep my Chrsitmas spirit healthy) and i have NO IDEA how to separate an egg! shame on me.

without an egg separator, i find myself ever so thankful for the world wide web! i found this easy to follow tutorial on YouTube and realize just how remedial it is and accordingly how remedial I am for not knowing how to do it. anyway, for anyone who may not know how to to it but doesn't want to sound as stupid as i just have, here's the video - you never have to tell a soul!

btw, as i was creating this post, my girl Maria gave me quick and easy tips to get the job done. good to have friends in high domestic places, lol. wish me luck with my egg nog!!!

buzzwords 3

2011-12-07T15:00:00.000-08:00

came across this one while working on a different post. love it!

boon (1), n. - something to be thankful for; blessing; benefit.

"My 'buzzwords' posts have been a boon for my literary work, expanding my vocabulary day-by-day."

boon (2), adj. - close; intimate; favorite/ favorable.

"While she has always been a boon friend, of late, we have been drifting apart."

how will you use it in a sentence today?

ok, ok. i may need a Pintervention!

2011-12-06T01:58:00.001-08:00

i've come to accept the fact that i am a Pinterest junkie. i pin before i go to bed. i pin when i wake up. i pin any free second i have - with no shame!

ABSOLUTELY DE-LISH!!!

i find so much inspiration on this site from people i've never (and probably never will) met. i find myself living a PinterstLife instead of my real one:

what my house should look like
what i should be teaching my kids
what i want to cook for my family
which fashions i want to adorn my temple.

so, instead of enveloping myself in my "PinLife," i've decided to actually take my favorite pins into action! last night i made these potatoes from Iowa Girl Eats:

I paired them with steak, creamed spinach (one of my husband's faves) and a mouth watering baguette.

tonight, i'm going fun and creating this beauty:

hope i can find pepperonis here!
*fingers crossed*

the kids will definitely be helping with this is one from For Mamas. i'm totally looking forward to the evening to get started!

i felt it only right to share some of my favorite pins with you all. i mean, it would be selfish to keep such wonderful finds to myself; although i do kind of want to be the only "cool mom," since i like you guys, you can be cool too ;).

a few other cool pins:

cheap bookcases as shoe racks. BRILLIANT!

totally cute gameDay gear!

watches for time-telling

the site is full of helpful pins that i will share with you from time to time. sometimes it's just a word of inspiration, a funny quote or an adorable photo. either way, they've made me smile in some way and i love to share smiles :).

hope you enjoy them as they come!

buzzwords 2

2011-11-29T14:30:00.000-08:00

oooohhhhh, here's a good one!

it's pronunciation is exactly the same as "an outing or occasion that involves taking a packed meal to be eaten outdoors." FUN!!!

pyknic, adj.- having a short stocky physique.

"These pyknic fingers are embarrassing, I need to do some finger curls."

how will you use it in a sentence today???

buzzwords 1

2011-11-28T14:42:00.001-08:00

i like to use arbitrary words in conversation to throw people off. not arbitrary to the context of the conversation, but an uncommonly used word that might raise an eyebrow or elicit a blank stare.

why, you may ask? because i'm strange. no other reason, i'm just odd.

so i've compiled an ever-growing list of these expressions that you too may raise an eye brow here or there. i'll post them one-by-one, as often as i can (i won't lie to you and say daily, but i promise to do my best). find a way to work them into your conversation; i've found the are often times conversation starters themselves!

fussbudget, n.- one who is fussy about unimportant things/nitpicker, stickler, perfectionist.

"My mother is such a fussbudget, she cleans her cleaning products."

how will you use it in a sentence today???

Veteran's Day 2011 - For the Blessing of Freedom, Thank You

2011-11-11T10:23:00.001-08:00

i'd like to believe my words carry emotion. that i'm able to relay heartfelt endearment and let it resound and possibly touch your soul. while i'd like to believe that - it probably isn't true ;). i don't want to chance it on a day such as this, Veteran's Day. a day set aside, specifically to thank those who have served for their sacrifice which has ensured our continued freedom.

with that being said, i will share the words of our esteemed President :

Today, our Nation comes together to honor our veterans and commemorate the legacy of profound service and sacrifice they have upheld in pursuit of a more perfect Union. Through their steadfast defense of America's ideals, our service members have ensured our country still stands strong, our founding principles still shine, and nations around the world know the blessings of freedom. As we offer our sincere appreciation and respect to our veterans, to their families, to those who are still in harm's way, and to those we have laid to rest, let us rededicate ourselves to serving them as well as they have served the United States of America.

Veteran's Memorial Park
Pensacola, FL

Our men and women in uniform are bearers of a proud military tradition that has been dutifully passed forward -- from generation to generation -- for more than two centuries. In times of war and peace alike, our veterans have served with courage and distinction in the face of tremendous adversity, demonstrating an unfaltering commitment to America and our people. Many have made the ultimate sacrifice to preserve the country they loved. The selflessness of our service members is unmatched, and they remind us that there are few things more fundamentally American than doing our utmost to make a difference in the lives of others.

Just as our veterans stood watch on freedom's frontier, so have they safeguarded the prosperity of our Nation in our neighborhoods, our businesses, and our homes. As teachers and engineers, doctors and parents, these patriots have made contributions to civilian life that serve as a testament to their dedication to the welfare of our country. We owe them a debt of honor, and it is our moral obligation to ensure they receive our support for as long as they live as proud veterans of the United States Armed Forces. This year, as our troops in Iraq complete their mission, we will honor them and all who serve by working tirelessly to give them the care, the benefits, and the opportunities they have earned.

On Veterans Day, we pay tribute to our veterans, to the fallen, and to their families. To honor their contributions to our Nation, let us strive with renewed determination to keep the promises we have made to all who have answered our country's call. As we fulfill our obligations to them, we keep faith with the patriots who have risked their lives to preserve our Union, and with the ideals of service and sacrifice upon which our Republic was founded.

With respect for and in recognition of the contributions our service members have made to the cause of peace and freedom around the world, the Congress has provided (5 U.S.C. 6103(a)) that November 11 of each year shall be set aside as a legal public holiday to honor our Nation's veterans.

NOW, THEREFORE, I, BARACK OBAMA, President of the United States of America, do hereby proclaim November 11, 2011, as Veterans Day. I encourage all Americans to recognize the valor and sacrifice of our veterans through appropriate public ceremonies and private prayers. I call upon Federal, State, and local officials to display the flag of the United States and to participate in patriotic activities in their communities. I call on all Americans, including civic and fraternal organizations, places of worship, schools, and communities to support this day with commemorative expressions and programs.

IN WITNESS WHEREOF, I have hereunto set my hand this third day of November, in the year of our Lord two thousand eleven, and of the Independence of the United States of America the two hundred and thirty-sixth.

-B A R A C K O B A M A

Today and every day... Thank you!

she's gotta have it, November '11 edition

2011-11-05T02:25:00.000-07:00

there are loads of things i'd LIKE to have. we're in a new home, so i want furniture, artwork, appliances, toys for the kids, the list goes on and on. the team has of course provided most of these things, but to make it "home" i'd like a few extra (seemingly -to my husband- useless) items. i don't like to buy the same things over and over in new countries so i often times go without.

LeapFrog LeapPad Explorer Learning Tablet (Green)

as usual, i digress. my "she's gotta have it" items for this month are not necessities, but we gotta have 'em nonetheless! we'll look at these more as a Christmas wish list. yeah, that sounds better! ;)

for both boys ;)

Just Dance 3 for Wii... #cantWait!!!!!

Nike+ SportWatch GPS Powered by TomTom

Apple Airport Express (we really should already have this)

Sesame Street Let's Rock Elmo

And in our Spanish-learning series... (just to start).

and just for mommy:

clearly i don't need all all of those shoes, they would just look nice in my closet, lol.
the December edition will be a real Christmas wish list *tee hee*.

Nuff Said!

2011-10-27T14:26:00.000-07:00

*drops mic. walks off stage*

fall-o-ween

2011-10-15T06:03:00.000-07:00

halloween is coming, and while we don't celebrate it in the traditional sense, nothing spooky - ghosts, ghouls, seances, hockey-masked slashers - just gathering some folk together to dress up and have a good time. of course over consumption of candy ensues, it has to :).

having said that, decorating must coincide, providing a less intimidating, dark atmosphere. no skeletons, caskets, bloodied individuals (especially no zombies, as they thoroughly freak me out!), witches, etc. our attempt is to change how the day is viewed, regardless of it's history - we don't want our children to celebrate the morbidity that has become All Hallows Eve. instead, we celebrate on another and the company we keep.

back to the subject at hand: decorating. specifically pumpkins. we could paint them, carve them into friendly faces, but i've done a bit of research and these ideas tickle my fancy and could be used throughout fall, right through to thanksgiving (i'm hoping if not carved, the pumpkin's shelf life will greaten).

i particularly like these. c'mon, candy corned pumpkin... awesome!

simple, pumpkins in stockings.

whoooo, whoooo!

Most importantly, designs we can create as a family. we'll be starting these this week:

just a few, what do you think? oh, and one for the road, just from smiles.

A Somber Moment

2011-10-10T06:52:00.000-07:00

The European basketball community mourns the loss of a brother, Chauncey Hardy, this (US) morning. Hardy, a 23-year old point guard for CSS Giurgiu, passed away shortly after undergoing surgery in Bucharest, Romania. According to reports, Hardy was attacked at a bar while celebrating a victory against their rivals, giving his team a 2-0 standing. When admitted to the hospital, Hardy had suffered severe head injuries and was already in a coma.

This news saddens me deeply. We had never met Chauncey, until this morning I had never heard of him, but he belongs to our family of ballers and will be greatly mourned.

While living abroad, we are often given subtle reminders that we are merely visitors in the home of others. I've heard of numerous attacks to international athletes, often without instigation on their part. These stories linger for a while as we embark on our journey, but we've always considered ourselves, family, and teammates relatively safe. This encounter will not merely linger... it RESOUNDS!

We will continue to lift the family, friends, teammates, and anyone affected by this tragedy in prayer. Loss is always difficult; the unexpected loss of a young person - that much more.

God blesses those who mourn, for they will be comforted.

Matthew 56:4

hello friend

2011-10-07T16:16:00.000-07:00

i want to take a second for a very short PSA to those i call friend. old friends, new friends... friends i have yet to meet. this one's for you:

ahem *clears throat*. i am horribly imperfect. i forget to call back, the time difference makes it hard for us to talk, my kids consume the vast majority of my time, my husband the rest. things sometimes fall through the cracks, though i try my hardest to make sure this never happens. i'm emotional, i can be fairly clingy, i won't be present for most birthdays, promotions or bad days. i may not always be there for that hug you, or often times I, may need.

BUT...

God is working on me, and while i am a work in progress, my walk strengthens everyday! i'm always thinking of you and i love you more than you'll every truly be able to comprehend. a missed call is always returned ASAP, with a sappy voicemail and follow-up email. the time difference may suck, but i'm probably the only one up and willing to talk on your ride to work and i'm more available on the ride home as well. my kids and husband are your family too, so while they take up my time, they broaden our prayer circle for you and yours (For where two or three come together in my name, I am there with them. -Matthew 18:20). if something does happen to fall through the cracks, i will IMMEDIATELY cement that spot to ensure it never happens again. i can admit when i'm wrong and have no qualms with apologizing. i have a strong shoulder (albeit virtual), alert ear and a great relationship with God. i love with all my heart and consider my friends family, i'll always be there in spirit and am never more than a phone call away. my faith is strong enough to carry the both of us when you're having a bad day.

Just as iron sharpens iron, a person sharpens the character of his friend. -Proverbs 27:17 CSB

i'd like to think the good out weighs the bad.

i'm missing my friends terribly right now, this is my way of saying i love you for putting up with me. this and saying, I LOVE YOU FOR PUTTING UP WITH ME!

chef N-A-D???

2011-10-03T10:30:00.000-07:00

hola! this morning a recipe of mine is being featured on my friend and fellow blogger Maria's blog Meals with Maria and Friends. while i feel extremely honored to be included on the helpful site, where i hope i can contribute regularly, it makes me laugh to think of where my cooking "skills" were just five years ago.

i was never a "domestic" young lady. i liked to clean; loved it even, but that's where my homemaking skills came to a screeching halt. i'm not a great decorator, sure i have personal fashion style (or so i'd like to think) but that goes on my body. i have no idea what to put on a wall and while i know this post is about cooking... i don't even want to talk about how much i COULDN'T cook!

when i met my husband, i was fresh out of college, working sometimes 50+ hours a week. i was apartment hunting and still lived with my parents. i didn't have to cook - and i didn't. of course i could whip up a mean breakfast. and don't get me started with spaghetti... i was a spaghetti connoisseur. but a real dish. NAH! not even almost. the first few meals i made for tre were out of boxes.

once we decided to get married, i knew things had to change. i put my brain to the test and tried to create dishes based on deductive reasoning. ingredient "A" should taste great with ingredient "B" with a little bit of "C". nope. that didn't cut it. after a year of hit and miss meals, i decided to just put my heart into my meals. taking the time to focus on fresh ingredients and my husband's personal taste buds. SCORE!!!!

cooking with love turned out to be the best thing to happen to my kitchen. turns out i had it in me all along. it's clearly in my genes as all the other women in my family throw down in the kitchen; as a child i should have been in the kitchen with them instead of playing!

i prepared my first sunday dinner a few years ago for my entire picky family, they loved it! i mean seconds and thirds loved it. grandmothers, aunts, uncles, my mom and dad, even the kids - and you know kids don't lie.

since, it just comes naturally to me. sure not every night is five-star, but i think i'm pretty darn close.

school blues

2011-10-02T05:42:00.000-07:00

i've been homeschooling the big boy since arriving here in malaga. we decided to enroll him in a spanish public school as he has been in french public schools since the age of two. we researched several private schools as well as international schools, but knowing our child, his abilities and his needs, we felt it best to completely submerge him in the culture. *noteworthy: i would continue to homeschool in english to help transition any future travels*

the husb was here a month before the kids and i arrived, so he was awarded the daunting responsibility of casing the joints; checking out the school's, their availability and curriculum. clearly we would make any decisions together, but it was best that he got the ball rolling early.

much to our dismay, the team informed us that it would be nearly, if not completely, impossible to enroll him into a spanish school as the city's laws concerning residency just about excluded us from the public school system. BUMMER!!!

we decided on a close bilingual program. i call it a program because it is not a school. after researching the curriculum, i was pleased to find that they teach in both english and spanish with focus very similar to what i was already implementing at home. perfect! or so i thought.

yesterday, i finally met with who i predict will be a great friend here in malaga (thanks to our wonderful group of L&B ladies!!!). she has children enrolled in an international school with a great kindergarten program that she loves. just great! not to mention, she informed me that i would most definitely be able to enroll the bog boy in a spanish public school. it may take a little finagling and/or string pulling, but it was possible.

i say all of this to say: i had previously learned not to leave certain things in the hands of team administration as they do not always have your (but their) best interest at heart. they can often times be lazy or uncoordinated; not necessarily where i want my child's education to lie. don't get me wrong, i am not judging our current staff's ability, i have come across some organizations with WONDERFUL liaisons, which is why i had my guard down.

while the boy is currently enrolled in the bilingual program, i have resurrected research efforts and am now back at square one. i'm praying for patience and spiritual discernment in this matter as it is important to me and i don't want to make any hasty or underdeveloped decisions.

oh... that's you on the jumbo-tron, huh?!

2011-09-30T05:55:00.000-07:00

so. new season, new organization, new surroundings, new friends, new learning experiences... same ole us!

let me preface all of this by saying, my son is extraordinary (both of them are, but this is specifically about the big boy). i know, i'm his mom - i'm supposed to say that. but really, this kid is something else. he's a good kid, smart, fairly well-mannered (i mean, he's a child, he has his moments), he listens well, and just has a big, loving, caring heart. he has a special relationship with God, understanding things i wouldn't necessarily expect him to. just yesterday, while watching a program where the characters had made themselves miniature to search inside of the human body -specifically the brain- he says to me, "mommy, nobody is in my brain, but God is." this made me smile, not only because he understood that God is not a person like he and i, but that he knows that God speaks to him. this has nothing to do with this post, just sharing ;).

again, so... last night was this preseason's first home game in our new arena. we were excited to see the hubby's new professional digs, and the kids were thrilled to see the huge jumbo-tron. we find seats with the rest of the players' families and the game proceeds as most games do. the first quarter was shaky, we were down, quickly. i was very into the game as the baby sat on my lap and the big boy was beside me with the other children. by halftime i was fairly drained and approved the boy's request to play in the empty row behind us.

the boy takes interest in lots of things, basketball and dancing both being high on this list. so you can imagine at games he is on overload, i often have to calm him as he tends to over exert himself. last night. i just... it was... i mean... i can't. i couldn't. oh, but he could. and DID.

in the row behind us he began to dance. having seen all his "moves" i took no special interest in this particular performance. well, i should have. he danced and danced, maybe a song and a half had gone by before i asked him to calm down and have a seat - he would have gone on forever. as he sat, the ENTIRE ARENA stood on their feet in applause. i mean the whole place. i looked up, he was on the jumbo-tron big as can be, getting his groove on! i was completely embarrassed. fueled by the crowd, he came to his feet again, dancing his heart out. again, on the jumbo-tron.

i prefer a certain amount of anonymity throughout the season. clearly we will not be unknown, but i try my hardest not to draw attention to myself or the kids. we've been in places where the boy has been stopped on the streets, i'd like for him to have as normal a childhood as he can, given our travels and lifestyle. last night he proved he may be aiming for an opposing goal. of course, he loved the attention, but it makes me uneasy.

it may turn out to be a long season! lol

falling into place

2011-09-29T17:03:00.000-07:00

as the memories of summer linger, quite fresh might i add, it is definitely time to ring in the fall.

though i have yet to say good-bye to my sandals and sleeveless tops, i know the time is coming. this is a hard thing for me to come to grips with. what you have to understand is that i am a "Cali girl" (Los Angeles to be exact), through and through. we don't really know a lot about seasons. we don't have very many of those.

i've simply never had it in me. our cold is nearly warm to inhabitants accustomed to more shivery climates. yes, the fashion is nice, i love winter boots, coats, gloves, hats, and scarves, but for mere fashion - not function.

our last two winters were spent in what someone less benumbed might call "winter wonderlands." while i was pregnant with our youngest, i had to trudge through sometimes a foot and a half of snow to get the boy to school. let's just say, i wasn't pleased. but it was beautiful. just too darn cold!

i digress. i'm looking forward to collecting fallen leaves and watching the seasons change. there won't be snow here so they'll be that much more for me to love!

what are your favorite seasons. you a summer bunny, like me? or a winter warrior???

artsy, smartsy

2011-09-29T16:46:00.000-07:00

months, countries, championships, birthdays, anniversaries, and everything in between. i know, i know. i'm terrible. i've been praying for focus... for a while. one thing i know to be true: faith without works is DEAD (James 2:20)! i want to LIVE!!! pray with and for me people - i'm a work in progress.

nonetheless, i came across these today and they truly tickled my fancy.

taken from Belgian artist, Ben Heine, here are a few pictures from his "Pencil vs. Camera" series.

at least someone's creative juices are flowing! lol. ENJOY!!!

Memorial Day 2011 - We Remember

2011-05-30T08:26:00.000-07:00

from Barack Obama's Memorial Day address 2010 from the Andrews Air Force Base:

"The families that I met with know in their hearts what every American must never forget. At its core, the nobility and the majesty of Memorial Day can be found in the story of ordinary Americans who become extraordinary for the most simple of reasons: They loved their country so deeply, so profoundly, that they were willing to give their lives to keep it safe and free.

In another time, they might have led a life of comfort and ease. But a revolution needed to be won. Or a Union needed to be preserved. Or our harbor was bombed. Or our country was attacked on clear September morning.

So they answered their country's call. They stepped forward. They raised their hand. They took an oath, just as all of you did. And they earned a title that would define them for the rest of their lives. A soldier. A sailor. An airman. A Marine. A Coast Guardsman.

In the letters that they wrote home they spoke of the horrors of war and the bravery it summoned -- how they endured the slaughter of the trenches and the chaos of beach landings, the bitter cold of a Korean winter or the endless heat of a Vietnam jungle.

Today, we can imagine what it must have been like, for all those they fought to save, when American forces finally came into view. A country was liberated. A Holocaust was over. A town was rid of insurgents. A village was finally free from the terror of violent extremists.

But had you asked any troop -- any of those troops in the past, they would have likely told you the same thing. Yes, we fought for freedom. Yes, we fought for that flag. But most of all, we fought for each other -- to bring our buddies home; to keep our families safe. And that's what they did, to their last breath.

This is what we honor today -- the lives they led, the service they rendered, the sacrifice that they've made for us. In this time of war, we pay special tribute to the thousands of Americans who have given their lives during the wars in Afghanistan and Iraq and who have earned their place among the greatest of generations. And though our heart aches in their absence, we find comfort in knowing that their legacy shines bright on the people they loved -- America's Gold Star families.

Their legacy lives on in the pride of their parents, like the mother who wrote to me about her son, Specialist Stephan Mace, who gave his life in Afghanistan. She told me, "I just want you to know what kind of hero he was." To all those moms and dads, you instilled in your sons and daughters the values and virtues that led them to service. And to you, every American here, every American around the country, owes a debt of profound gratitude.

Their legacy lives on in the love of their spouses -- the wives and husbands who gave to our nation the person they cherished most in the world. To all those spouses, you have sacrificed in ways most Americans can't even begin to imagine, but as you summon the strength to carry on each day, know that you're not alone, and that America will always be at your side.

Their legacy lives on in their beautiful children. To all those sons and daughters, we say as one nation: Your moms and dads gave their lives so you could live yours. America will be there for you as well, as you grow into the men and women your parents knew you could be.

Their legacy lives on in those who fought alongside them ---our veterans who came home, you, our troops, who are still in harm's way. Just as you keep alive the memory of your fallen friends, America must keep its commitment to you. And that means providing the support to our troops and families when they need it, and the health care and benefits that our veterans deserve. This is our sacred trust to all who serve, and upholding that trust is a moral obligation.

And finally, on this day of remembrance, I say to every American the legacy of these fallen soldiers, these fallen heroes, lives on in each of us. The security that lets us live in peace, the prosperity that allows us to pursue our dreams, the freedom that we cherish -- these were earned by the blood and the sacrifice of patriots who went before. And now it falls on us to preserve that inheritance for all who follow.

They proclaimed our unalienable rights, so let us speak out for the dignity of every human being and the rights that are universal. They saved the Union, so let us never stop working to perfect it. They defeated fascism and laid the foundation for decades of prosperity, so let us renew the sources of American strength and innovation at home. They forged alliances that won a long Cold War, so let us build the partnership for a just and lasting peace.

And today, our forces are fighting and dying once more, in faraway lands, to keep our homeland safe. Some of you have come from overseas deployments, some of you are about to go. Let us make sure that all of us are worthy of your sacrifice and of the sacrifices who have fallen. Let us go forward as they do, with the confidence and the resolve, the resilience and the unity that's always defined us as a people, and shaped us as a nation and made America a beacon of hope to the world.

So may God bless our fallen heroes. May He comfort their families. May God bless all of you, and may God bless the United States of America. Thank you very much, everybody. Thank you."

blast from the past is love too much?

2011-05-28T07:56:00.000-07:00

*i've decided to incorporate old posts with the new. not only to liven my blog, but also to see if my - or maybe your - views have changed since it was initially written. so, enjoy this "blast from the past" *

i tell my close friends and family members that i love them all quite often, when we part, in closing a telephone conversation, many times for no reason at all. This brings to mind a rather unpleasant thought, after being said in such excess does LOVE lose it's sentiment? is it reduced to a mere word?

i once believed that i should never go to sleep angry with someone solely because neither their nor my tomorrow is promised. we do not know our own day of reckoning and if it is our time to go we, of course, would want those we care about to know how we feel. i have also adopted my father's belief that our personal joy is too sweet to be stolen by anger, especially during our, to some precious, hours of sleep. most importantly... it says it in the Word, so that's that.
through personal growth, prayer and an intensity in my Love Walk, i have learned just how important it is to be a good daughter, sister, friend, or stranger. i, personally, enjoy being told i am loved and appreciated, this does not mean that my friends and family want to be constantly barraged by my emotional monologues.

so tell me, is love enough or can it sometime be too much???

*update: this sentiment still rings true for me. maybe even a little louder since my brush with death last year. i've given much thought to the idea of "joy." not happiness, an emotion that can change like night and day, but pure joy, allotted by our Heavenly Father.

To enjoy your work and accept your lot in life -- that is indeed a gift from God. People who do this rarely look with sorrow on the past, for God has given them reasons for joy. -Ecclesiastes 5:19 & 20.

This gift of joy, not only do i keep it on my heart, wrapped around my finger like a ribbon, i intend to share it with everyone i come across. to be a blessing and not a hinderance. to spread LOVE, and to continue to use that word as it applies to those for whom i feel this sentiment as often as possible!

Love & Basketball

2011-05-28T07:34:00.000-07:00

nope, this post is not about basketball. its not necessarily about love either... at least not in the romantic sense. it's about friendship, understanding, stability - it's about my L&B girls!!!

a group comprised of basketball wives, stateside and abroad, Love & basketball is a release for some, yellow pages for others, even a walk down memory lane. an excellent tool to find lost friends while making new ones who share a lot of our not-so-simple lifestyle intricacies.

most importantly, it's unbiased, unwilling to judge, i've never met you face-to-face but call you friend, camaraderie.

to my L&B ladies, i salute you!

celebrating moms

2011-05-08T06:13:00.000-07:00

today, many countries across the world celebrate Mother's Day. here in France, it is not observed until the last sunday of May, which falls on the 29th this year. none-the-less, since i am American, i'm taking my day off today! lol.

i've included a few pictures that made me laugh or smile for all of you wonderful mothers out there. i pray each of your families show love and appreciation to the glue that holds everything together not only today - but everyday! God bless.

apparently i've got some sort of theme going

this cracked me all the way up!

Happy Mother's Day!!!!!

"Precious"

2011-04-09T02:54:00.000-07:00

last night i watched the movie Precious, in it's entirety, for the first time. this was maybe my third attempt at digesting it's abusive themes and characters.

let me start by saying that i am a movie buff! i LOVE horror films, save for anything zombie-related. i am an absolute sucker for a romantic comedy or "chick flick". give me an action movie with a good story (no steven seagal or van damme; while i intend no disrespect to these fine actors, they're films simply aren't my cup of tea) and i'm set. bone-chilling thrillers or love stories leave me on the edge of my seat in anticipation. i've even been known to catch a foreign film or two.

in the privacy of my own home, i talk to the characters; i use my cinematic crystal ball to predict the supposed "intricate" plots; i build relationships with these entities that i can turn to time and again for a good laugh, cry, nail-biting session, or just a means to occupy a few hours of my evening.

Precious, based on the novel Push by Sapphire, received rave reviews. it tells the story of an abused overweight African American teenage girl who is expelled from school while carrying her second child, fathered by none other than her own father. enduring not only his sexual abuse, she is also subjected to physical and mental abuse from her mother.

i think it was too much for me, it made me BAWL. i mean, snot, sniffling, red eyes - the whole nine.

i don't believe my motion picture palette is mature enough for films of this nature. i spent more time worrying about "Precious" than i did actually cultivating a bond with her. i'm sure; however, that those things that made me shy away from the movie are the exact same things that led to it's propulsion. i'm just too sensitive.

i'm not a fan of the Meet the Parents installations because i feel bad for Ben Stiller's character, who tries so very hard to be liked as his attempts are brutally rebuffed. his kind-hearted, though sometimes not thought through, actions are repeatedly met with rejection and contempt.

watching Precious, i prayed to God to be able to help others in a more impactful way - which may have been one of it's aims. i did not dislike the movie, it definitely aided in my appreciation for my many blessings.

i'd like to believe i possess the strength to endure two hours through the eyes of an abused soul seeing that there are countless individuals who live through this everyday, i just felt so futile in the crusade to help.

my prayers go out to those withstanding abuse of any kind. i am trying to be the change i want to see in the world, i am trying to help. i pray for proper guidance and placement that i can make a difference, i'm praying for change.

blast from the past preposterous feelings

2011-04-06T16:40:00.000-07:00

june 2009

i'm sure you have all seen by now through my various posts the bordering obsession i have with my son, i'm nuts about the little guy but i know i have to loosen my reins. not only for him, for myself and for any future children we may (prayerfully soon) have. it's a work in progress, and i promise i am truly working on it.

are any of you obsessed with your children or any other relationship you may have here on earth (notice i threw "on earth" in there, we should all be heavily obsessed with God so that 's a given :p)? help me out, let me know i'm not alone - or confirm that i am and need professional help!!!

*update: since this post, our family has increased by one - another beautiful, God-fearing, intelligent, loving baby boy, and my views have changed drastically. the radical change, not one of choice, was abrupt and unsettling, but there was nothing i could do about it.

while i am absolutely and utterly obsessed with my guys (all three of them), i believe my reins have been permanently remitted. i was forced to be away from my family for a month, while the youngest was only a month old. this early separation ensured a closer bond to the youngin' and his father.

although i may not be pleased with how it came about, i welcome the change. it is healthy for our family dynamic and it makes the man happy (our first was an extreme "Momma's Boy" as boys tend to be) - which in turn, makes me happy.*

she's gotta have it, April '11 edition

2011-04-06T11:26:00.000-07:00

this edition features a few spring/summer items i'd like to purchase for the fam!

KitchenAid Artisan 5-Qt Stand Mixer (just for me).
i considered their ProLine 6-Qt Mixer, but it was a bit more than i needed. don't need to prepare food like a chef... it certainly won't taste as if it came from one!

i've heard these books are great for introducing seasons.

Steve Madden's MISTAA. over the years my style as, for lack of a better word, evolved. i LOVE these for me!

if you've ever read the boy's blog, you know why this is PERFECT for him. (Old Navy)

Old Navy set of four polos for the boys in every color, $30. score!

Lacoste linen pants for the man. nothing says spring like linen!

he won't need this cardigan in LV but perfect for cool LA nights.

the dreaded toilet seat!!!

2011-03-09T09:05:00.000-08:00

the toilet and i have a love-hate relationship: i love for it to be clean and it hates me.

as i've mentioned before, i'm a neat freak so i'm constantly cleaning it. i'm always buying the "new and improved, clinically test best toilet cleaner ever until next month with the new one that i'm inevitably going to buy too". i can only do public toilets in absolute emergencies and i'm jst talking #1's (what? tmi???). but our biggest issues aren't the toilet's fault... it's these guys.

my youngest will start potty training sooner than later (actually, i'm sure it'll be later) but the big boy has been completely trained for over two years now. he did really well with raising the toilet seat, but horrible putting it down! i've fallen in several times. and before you ask, no... i don't back in! i simply don't expect it to be up.

now-a-days he isn't raising the seat anymore. so, while i'm not falling in, the seat will have little four-year-old sprinkles. (pause for reaction)

my husband is much better but he has his days as well.

i'm not sure what's worse... falling in the toilet or having a pee butt! i can't win for losing with the guys!

a houseful of the male species has it advantages and disadvantages. i don't have to take out the trash, worry about intruders (even my little guys are very protective - they will hurt someone over mommy!) and i have a helping hand if i struggle with a can, but i think i might prefer a dry bottom.

i'm not sure, the jury's still out on this one, but a trade might be in order! lol

ladies... take a bow, it's our day!!!

2011-03-08T04:11:00.000-08:00

today, March 8, 2011, is International Women's Day! this year marks it's centenary. one hundred years of

celebrating the economic, political and social achievements of women past, present and future. In some places like China, Russia, Vietnam and Bulgaria, International Women's Day is a national holiday. IWD.com

with most civil rights movements, women have and are still struggling for equality. as we speak, there are women lobbying for rights as well as those who are not allowed a voice to raise.

we often take our freedoms for granted, not thinking of those who came before us and fought tooth and nail to afford us our way of living.

i take this time to salute those women, past, present and future. those who have taken a stand, are currently standing proud and those who are just finding their feet.

i never dreamed you'd leave in summer

2011-03-08T03:43:00.000-08:00

we have two months until our last regular season game. since we'll be winning the championship this year (claiming it in His Name!), we won't be heading home until mid-late June. while this may seem light years away, i find it best to plan most of our summer's trips and major outings ahead of time - we are only allotted a certain amount of time home and doing so ensures we get the most out of our time.

this year, we have discussed the children going to Los Angeles for a week or so with their grandparents (my parents). NaNa and PaPa miss "their" boys.
while the option of them vacationing in California hovers every summer, we've only taken them up once while i visited a friend in D.C. to help with her newborn. the trip lasted all of three days, two nights and showed how much i depended on my baby boy.

as a parent, i find myself slipping into the belief that the reliance my children have on us - their parents - is a one-way street. WRONG!

i need my kids! in absence i long for their smiles, laughs, hugs, barrage of questions, kissing their boo-boos, or simply gazing into their innocent, trusting, loving eyes. all of a sudden i'm not so thrilled about the thought of them leaving. after all, iNDy is only one - it's too soon for him to be away!

conversely, my parents look at my children as their own. skyping is never enough. there aren't enough phone calls that can quench their thirst for their only grandchildren. the few months that we are home, i honestly believe they would move into our home to be with them as much as possible... that is if they didn't have mortgages and children of their own to care for.

they introduced the idea of the man and i taking a vacation, possibly going on the honeymoon we never had. sure, that sounds great, but i honestly would rather take a family vacay.

sigh.

all in all, we will more than likely concede defeat and overcome our selfishness. it's not about us, it's important to make sure others are happy as well.

am i being a complete sap? should i be thrilled to have the opportunity to leave the kids in trusting, loving hands and welcome some time off? what do you think?

blast from the past do the right thing

2011-03-04T17:06:00.000-08:00

*i've decided to incorporate old posts with the new. not only to liven my log, but also to see if my - or maybe your - views have changed since it was initially written. so, enjoy this first of many "blast from the past" *

may 2009

my husband and i have been making regular trips to visit my parents in los angeles from our home in las vegas via the good 'ole stage coach (that would be our vehicle, i use the antiquated term because we REALLY should fly). during these trips we have lengthy conversations of ranging topics from our religious beliefs (i'm sure you know where we stand on that by now) to modern fashion to the desire to have flown.

on our most recent trip, the man decided that he was rather tired and we needed to switch positions if we were to arrive at our destination safely. so, we stop at the nearest gas station, i climb to the driver's seat while he rummages the convenient store for a snack, which isn't a snack so much as candy and junk food with no dietary value. with the boy asleep in the back and the man on what usually is a five-minute ravage of the candy section, i search aimlessly for a quick fix of entertainment.

out of my window to the left is a permanently seated elderly gentleman reading a book, i find myself inclined to speak to him and am instantly delighted that i did. he was reading The Bible and we briefly discussed the chapter and verse that stole his focus. i wish upon wishes that i could remember which it was, i cannot; however at the time, our conversation enveloped me. i was pleased as punch to discuss my Lord and Saviour, the impact He has on my life and how the Word guides my life. encouraged by his shared enthusiasm, we continued our conversation as my husband returned from the convenient store. he joined our conversation that came to an end with many exchanged pleasantries, blessings, we gave him bottled water and money as well.

oh, did i fail to mention he was homeless? sorry, it didn't occur to me now or during our conversation. here was this man, in a wheelchair, very little to eat, toting a brand spanking new Bible given to him by the pastor of the church he frequents. i strongly believe we were the first people to speak to him that day.

it genuinely warmed my heart to see the smile on his face as we discussed a matter NO ONE else was willing to discuss with him outside of the walls of the church. so do me a favor, talk to someone you wouldn't normally today. i'm not necessarily asking you to discuss your religious beliefs, while i know as a child of God it is my responsibility and obligation to share my testimony, not everyone feels comfortable doing so. all i am asking is that you spare an extra word or two with someone you would normally extend a smile.

let's see how this goes, INTERACT PEOPLE!!!!! i look forward to hearing from you all soon!!!!!!!

*update: my feelings remain the exact same today. though if i wrote this today i would not have mentioned that we helped him monetarily... it holds no relevance to the greater importance of the post*

oh me, oh my

2011-03-04T15:56:00.000-08:00

i'm such a horrible host. really, there are no excuses for my continued absences.

sure, i can blame it on the kids, our demanding schedule, the time i dedicate to the Word and meditation... but the fact of the matter is that you make time for things you care about.

i've not only neglected writing, but reading as well. THINGS HAVE GOT TO CHANGE! i have friends who have created EXCELLENT blogs that i have failed to read as of late :(.

i made a concerted effort to dedicate time to the upkeep of my temple; i am going to make the same effort for you all - both of you, hahahahah - because i love you so much.

2011-02-22T08:41:00.000-08:00

I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.I can do everything through him who gives me strength.--Philippians 4:12-13

"your focus needs more focus"

2011-02-08T14:01:00.000-08:00

the title of this post is from the mouth of Mr. Han, better known as Jackie Chan, to Shao Dre (Jaden Smith) in the 2010 release of The Karate Kid. i am an eighties baby but i have never seen the original Karate Kid or it's successors, until now.

our four-year-old was moved by the kung fu moves displayed throughout the film, we are hopeful that he actually listened to and applies its embedded message to his life as well. Shao Dre learned that not only kung fu, but life in generally require dedication, serenity and maturity.

as parents, we want to instill the best beliefs and values in our children, but how often do we notice the example we are setting through our own lives?

my husband is like Mr. Han. he's strong while being silent and possesses the three d's: dedication, determination, drive. he is a wonderful example of what a man of God should be, his influence is setting a solid foundation for our sons to build upon.

me? eh, well ummmm - my focus needs more focus! let me explain:

thanks to the mercy of God, i run my household well. everything is taken care of from every angle. period. clearly i am not perfect, but i take my job serious, i take pride in my home running smoothly. our boys see us do our separate jobs, together; but most importantly they are being raised in a household that serves the Lord.

in these areas my focus is clear.

but i'm sending mixed messages with my COMPLETE lack of focus in self upkeep.

i know, seems shallow - vain even. however, if my body is a temple with which i am to honor God - i'm not giving Him the glory he deserves.

don't get me wrong, i'm in pretty good shape, but i AM aging and staying toned is not as simple as it once was. i have made many failed attempts at creating the habit of working out. i don't want my son to see my off and on routine and think it's okay not to work wholeheartedly. i'm not putting my all into this as i do with most everything else in my life. to sum it up,: my focus needs more focus.

so i am challenging myself, with you all as witnesses, to care for my temple, working as if i am working for the Lord because after all - i am. to continue to set a positive example for my children in all aspects of life, including those that may seem miniscule, that they may or may not take notice of. a challenge to be a better me.

wish me luck!

is this where we are? did i take a wrong turn?

2011-02-03T07:09:00.000-08:00

i LOVE music. i listen to it as i clean, i put on concerts in the car and shower, there's a soundtrack to my life that continuously plays in my head (does that sound a bit unhealthy? lol). but the state of today's music has taken a drastic plunge over the past few years and i got lost. i think where i made a right, music made a left.

while i am most certainly an avid believer, i do tend to listen to secular music. i have favorite artists and songs, but as a member of the Body of Christ, i'm finding that i do not relate to the lyrics of today's "worldly" songs.

i do not believe that because i am a Christian my musical fulfillment is limited to those songs that are religious in nature. i DO, however, believe that what you surround yourself with becomes a part of you - what you hear you speak, what you speak you live (to a degree, everything on moderation). that is why i am finding it particularly difficult to connect with most of today's "pop" music.

as it is, my lyrical intake is limited, many artists are stricken from my musical database based on the themes of their music: drugs, sex, money, crime, etc.

i am a big fan of love. i love love. but even today's love songs have become vulgar and indigestible.

don't get me wrong, there are definitely lyrically responsible artist whose message is not of God but against the decline of the world. artists who refuse to succumb to the reins of indentured servitude and mold their careers according to what is popular, remaining true to their craft. these artists i applaud and support.

so my iTunes music library seldom boasts increase, i listen to the music i was raised on and a few artists i came to love as a teenager. i'm finding the closer i am in relationship with God, the further i pull away from the world, music included. as hard as i once thought it would be to say so, i'm okay with that.

she's gotta have it, January '11 edition

2011-01-31T06:50:00.000-08:00

ok, so i know it's the absolute LAST day of january, but i have to get this in - hopefully, in time for Valentine's Day (yes, i am shamelessly and subliminally inputting thoughts into a certain readers head... SUE ME! lol).

this edition has one item and one item only...

the Kindle Wireless Reading Device w/3G + WiFi.

how i've waited for thee! i've always been a BIG reader. as a child i opted to stay inside and read instead of going out to play. i was reading 300-page novels before i was ten.

since we've been overseas my accumulated range of titles has dropped. it's nearly impossible to find good books in english and traveling with them is very cumbersome. i've managed to finish a few great books but not nearly as many as i can and would like.

while ereaders have been around for a while, i was waiting for the kinks to be resolved and convenience to reign... that day has come!

i post this with the confidence that a Kindle is on it's way to France with my name on it as we speak.

and i fibbed, there are two items featured this month...

Belkin Kindle Sleeve

the waiting game begins...

blogger envy

2011-01-31T05:58:00.000-08:00

i have two friends who blog, blog, blog (and oh yeah, did i mention blog?) - and i am jealous. there... i said it.

these ladies, Maria and Erin, are writing MACHINES!!! i often struggle thinking of topics worthy of discussion, while these two are endless pits of wisdom, humor and most importantly faith.

i enjoy walking with them on theirs journeys through their blogs because they're more than just words. they often challenge you, delving deeper than a mere rant.

they both author several blogs amidst their busy days. see for yourself:

Maria's blog, Pieces of My Mind
Erin's blog, Married to a Baller

i draw inspiration from these two quite often, not only as a writer but as an individual.

hope you enjoy what they have to share as well!

january spotlight

2011-01-21T10:04:00.000-08:00

i have a a good friend who runs a GREAT site for mothers interested in safe, alternative products for their babies and children.

everyone check out http://www.safbaby.com/ for all of the latest and greatest.

Sandra, a friend, and Samantha are very well learned and passionate. they aim to keep our kids safe and our mommies (and daddies) well informed. go give 'em a look-see... NOW! :)

winning the battle, losing the war?

2011-01-21T09:55:00.000-08:00

i've been fighting this bug for a LONG, LONG time. trying not to drug myself into an oblivion, i've settled for lots of rest, juice and utter laziness. i'm well rested, sure. healthy? not so much.

slowly but surely i've been trying to transform my home into a greener place. i recognize that the Lord entrusted this planet to us, that we have a responsibility to nurture and groom it - i've fallen short. i do my part here and there, but i have to be the change i want to see in the world... right?

so i've researched a few practical ways of going green that i can start today (okay, maybe tomorrow when i'm feeling better), please feel free to add to the list, we all need help in winning this war!

going green 101

turn off the water while brushing your teeth (an oldie but goodie)
walk or ride a bike whenever possible
use fluorescent light bulbs

"If every house in the United States changed all of the light bulbs in their house [to fluorescent], that would be equivalent to taking one million cars off the street." http://www.squidoo.com/agreenlife

4. use a re-usable container and/or filter instead of bottled water

5. consolidate errands to one trip per/wk (saves gas, time and money)

6. eliminate paper bills/pay bills online

7. check out a book/video from the library

8. shop local farmers

9. wash clothes on cold settings with full machine

10. use re-usable grocery bags

"It takes 450 years for a plastic bag to decompose."http://www.green-talk.com/2007/11/02/15-tips-to-become-a-neighborhood-“greeny”/

11. turn thermostat down

12. RECYCLE RECYCLE RECYLE

what are you doing to ensure lasting victory???

sources:

http://www.squidoo.com/agreenlife

http://www.green-talk.com/2007/11/02/15-tips-to-become-a-neighborhood-“greeny”/

http://gatheringinlight.com/2007/04/18/resources-and-tips-for-becoming-green-and-protecting-our-environment/

marriage commandments

2010-10-25T10:18:00.000-07:00

i came across a rather interesting page while researching for another blog. i'm REALLY interested in what you think on the matter. i'll reserve my opinions for the time being b/c i want to hear yours! check it out,

Ten Commandments for Husbands and Wives

here are two QUICK excerpts:

Ten commandments for husbands

Thou shalt not take thy wife for granted, but will honour and respect her as thy equal. (1 Pet 3:7)
Thy highest allegiance, except God, shall be to thy wife, not thy relatives or friends. (Gen 2:24)

AND

Ten commandments for wives

Expect not thy husband to give thee as many luxuries as thy father hath given thee after many years of hard labor. (Phil 4:11; Amos 4:1)
Thou shalt work hard to build thy house with the husband that you have, not fantasizing about "the one that could have been". (Prov 14:1)

so, whaddya think???

she's gotta have it, October '10 edition

2010-10-20T09:04:00.000-07:00

she's gotta have it, a new monthly feature detailing items i've recently purchased or am on my was to pick-up - as you read!

first thing's first, the little boy's legs are hanging over his car seat. as he will soon also exceed the weight requirements, we have been in the market for a new car seat. laws differ from country to country; trying to get into Australia with an American car seat was an aggravating headache, while entering Europe was a breeze.

we've decided to purchase a Bébé Confort which, i discovered while researching this post, is an European-based division of Dorel Industries and do not sell directly to America. According to their site, they can be found in Mexico, parts of South America, Africa, Europe, and Russia among other places (http://www.bebeconfort.com/collection/UK/carte.htm).
we chose the "Axiss," check it out:

i am particularly fond of the swivel feature; however, i was initially troubled by two main components of the seat, 1.) five-point harness and 2.) LATCH system. at first glance, it seemed to me that the seat lacked a five-point harness which for me was a deal-breaker - PERIOD. however, i learned that by definition, with a five-point harness,

"The lap portion is connected to a belt between the legs and there are two shoulder belts, making a total of five points of attachment to the seat." http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Seat_belt

making the belts themselves the attachment to the seat. i was under the impression that the harness clip was included in the five-point check list. since this accessory can be purchased separately (yes, i still want one) the deal was back on. that is until i noticed that there was no LATCH (Lower Anchors and Tethers for CHildren) system.

in my mind i'm screaming, "what are these people thinking? a seat belt ALONE is not enough protection!!!" needless to say, i researched a little further to find that they have their own safety requirements which include a "Ratchet System". with this system, the seat belt is reeled through a ratchet and tightened mechanically. while it is not structurally attached to the frame of the vehicle, it is taut and secure.

the Bébé Confort Axiss meets my mommy requirements and now, she's gotta have it!

next, more of a ME item than a mommy one...

ALDO BEZA

me likey!

lastly, a health & beauty item. a stylist friend of mine recommended this line of hair & scalp wellness products, i've only used one product but i was VERY impressed!

ah, the joys of blogging

2010-02-25T09:53:00.000-08:00

i haven't had much time to blog lately... my deepest apologies. i've only taken a quick second amongst my busy schedule to welcome all of my new followers. i am thankful that the Lord has seen fit to bring so many eager readers my way! it lets me know that my voice is being heard and i must be saying something good!

once again, i thank each and every one of you for your time and dedication to my blog, it truly honors me to know that you've taken time, from what i can only assume is a busy day, to not only read my mindless rants but continuously comment on my thoughts. it truly strengthens and pushes me toward my goal of being published before the end of this year.

i pray this finds each of you well and in good relationship with the Lord.

giving credit where it's due!

2010-02-02T03:00:00.000-08:00

as A. Domestic Engineer, it's safe to say that i juggle many tasks and occupational decisions as well as hazards daily. as a Christian, i strive to be the wife and mother found in Proverbs 31: 10-31; lately i feel as though i have missed the mark.

the responsibilities in our household are shared evenly across the board. while my husband is the bread winner, i manage the dough. while i care for our home physically, he sustains it spiritually and provides security. we lack for nothing, the Lord has provided for us abundantly as He promised in His Word.

seeing the partnership of my home, it would be obvious that more recently my husband provided a seed that i, glory to God, have cultivated of which we will soon see the fruition. long story short... i am in my last month of pregnancy, i am tired, unproductive and lazy! that being said, it is important to understand the dynamics of my relationship with my husband. a relationship built strongly and solely on the foundation of God, we truly balance one another. what he lacks i provide and vice versa - thank God for His divine hand in our marriage and it's needs because i am sure without my AWESOME husband, my home would be a mess and my nerves shot!

we always seem to pick up one another's slack, a true partnership where neither of our personal needs or emotions are more important than that of the other. we boast an unselfishness we could only have inherited from the Word (and with time, lots of time :D) that supports us and continues to nourish unceasingly.

over the last few weeks "the man" has stepped up his game exponentially, his already helpful hand now stretching further into my duties and responsibilities. i say this with pride and admiration for an amazing man. i am eternally grateful to God for making us for one another, for making me his helper and shaping us throughout our lives so that we fit perfectly with each other today, yesterday and forever.

sorry to toot his horn, i just had to give credit where credit is due!

book list 2010

2010-01-27T16:00:00.000-08:00

the year has started slow, as far as reading is concerned.

to be honest, the past few years have come and gone with not many titles to boast. while i still read more than most, the old me would be ashamed at my annual written intake.

2010 i've decided to get back into erudite shape! with january pretty gone (where oh where does the time go?) and february being a short month, i've committed to finishing my first two titles before march.

the first, what i am currently reading, "The Shack," by William Paul Young, has been riveting thus far. i've had spots that have proven difficult to progress through because i am far too sensitive and have to step back from anything that might tug on my emotional strings, but over all i am finding it to be both throughly entertaining and enlightening.

next on the list, "Quiet Strength," by Tony Dungy. i know the author may have left a few of you perplexed (well those of you who know sports anyway). while i've never mentioned any particular liking to, or aversion from, football, reading a book authored by an ex-fooball coach certainly doesn't seem my style. ahhhh, i'm more diverse that you thought! no. my husband was given this book as a present adn as he read and shared, i was deeply touched by the life and beliefs of mr. dungy. so much so that i purchased his second anthology, "Uncommon," and vowed to read them both.

a quote on the inside panel that i found insightful, assisted in my desire to read "Quiet Strength":

"I really wanted to show people that you can win all kinds of ways...For your faith to be more important than your job, for your family to be more important than that job...we all know that's the way it should be...I'm not afraid to say it."

i've purchased and am looking into further titles for '10 that i will share as time progresses. don't be surprised if you see posts inspired by or directly from any of the books on my list this year... i
m aiming to broaden my scope as well as yours... you ready???

"A Case of the Mondays"

2010-01-27T14:42:00.000-08:00

(okay, i know it's wednesday but i've been meaning to post this SINCE monday - i've been busy with my boys and my thoughts. sorry all!!!)

the weekend's over, time to go back to our weekly grind - whatever that may entail. it seems that mondays are always a bit slower than any other day of the week.

weekends, generally seem slow to come and quick to pass, while monday is ALWAYS right around the corner.

i noticed this particular monday that several people were complaining of having "a case of the mondays." this phrase always makes me giggle as i truly believe there should be a diagnosed illness called the "mondays". however, i decided to look at the start of the business week (and yes, while i don't punch a clock - i run a successful business... my household!) from a more positive perspective. it does say in His Word, "A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones." -Proverbs 17:22.

while it may seem that i have been blessed with a cheerful disposition (my husband says i am ALWAYS smiling), there are things that weigh heavy on my heart and i tend to start each week anew, shouldering my burdens.

so...i've asked the Lord to create in me a cheerful heart, a heart and spirit that welcomes the challenges as well as pleasantries of the week head on. asking the Lord to continually remind me that joy is a gift, promised from God and i will not let an imaginary (albeit widespread) condition steal my joy.

i propose we shake things up a bit, adding a simple punctuation mark to end of this popular saying, changing it's inflection, tone and meaning. starting this monday, i'm delighted to say i found myself overwhelmed with "A Case of the Mondays!"

let's all try joy and positivity on this week - see how it looks on us. i bet others wonder where you got it from and where they can pick some up. tell it's a gift from your Heavenly Father - they are welcome to it too!!!

who's the "Marriage Junkie"???

2010-01-21T14:04:00.000-08:00

during my research for a previous blog, i came across a helpful website dedicated to helping marriages. in both my attempts to follow and/or add the blog to my "blogroll" i was unsuccessful. so.... i've decided to simply share the link with you! Marriage Junkie "Ramblings of a Marriage Junkie – the regular fix for those committed to reviving marriage & reducing divorce!"

K. Jason Krafsky may just speak a word to you and your marriage!

there was a study for that...

2010-01-18T06:55:00.000-08:00

apparently, there is a new phenomena sweeping social networking... dismantling relationships via Facebook.

reading a article on psychcentral.com, i found that jelaousy rages throughout Facebook. TIME magazine taught me that my FB relationship status is "complicated" (Your Facebook Relationship Status: It's Complicated).

i'm sitting here wondering when FB took my relationship from me. when did i relinquish my power to control myself and my partnership? well I haven't, but it seems many have.

according to Dr. John Grohol, author of the article, "Facebook Reinforces Relationship Jealousy," and a study called the Facebook Jealousy Scale, those most likely to have "Facebook jealousy," were already jealous by nature. unsurprisingly, "Women were more likely to be jealous than men."

most importantly, there was an undeniable link to the time spent on FB & this "jealousy."

“Our data showed a significant association between time spent on Facebook and jealousy-related feelings and behaviors experienced on Facebook,” researchers admitted. which lead me to a different more disturbing article found at Telegraph.co.uk Man killed wife 'because she spent too much time on Facebook'

while the title is a bit more "telling" than the article its self, the general gist seems to be that man strangled his partner due to jealousy which spawned from financial issues and her "secretive" time spent on Facebook. her private behavior and, "preventing him from accessing the site and switching the computer off to prevent him from seeing any of the content," upset him, purportedly bringing him to the conclusion, "If I can't have her, then no f***** else will because I will kill her first."

as disturbing as this may be, this relationship clearly had it's issues... as did this man. is it fair for him to blame Facebook for his actions or her behavior?

the internet, a.k.a the possessor of all knowledge - good and evil, provides, not only statistics, testimonies, signs of FB cheating, and ways to break-it-off FB style, i was also able to find an article on "How Facebook Can Improve Your Marriage Relationship!" (i failed to provide the link before).

K. Jason & Kelli Krafsky listed five "practical" ways to use Facebook to strengthen your relationship, number three being: " Affirm Your Marriage & Mate Often." now i have to stroke your FB ego???

in my opinion it's a whole lot simpler than that... if your spouse is jealous you shouldn't be on FB, if you HAVE to be on FB you shouldn't be with your spouse. if you have something to hide, FB isn't the place to hide it AND you shouldn't be in your relationship. we shouldn't use Facebook as a means of beign nosey, in any situation, if you don't trust what and or/with whom your partner is interacting, that will be truth in or outside of Facebook.

i don't know, it may just be the openness of my marriage, or the honesty and decorum i was raised with, but this is so a non-issue to me... what about you? what do you think?

***UPDATE: i just received an informative note from Kelli Krafsky:

"We also made a list of "Our Top Dozen Do's and Don'ts for Facebooking Couples." Our book, "Facebook and Your Marriage" will be out next month."

find these and other relative info @ marriage junkie.com. for those interested, as this is clearly an important issue to many. i will not slight it simply because i am not affected by it. thanks for the comment Kelli!

it's not you... it's me

2010-01-18T06:23:00.001-08:00

has it honestly been two months? two WHOLE months??? i keep making these promises to you continuing to disappoint. things aren't going to get better either - only worse. what can i say, it's not you - it's me.

i am now 34-weeks pregnant, i know i kept it from you (well some of you); i've dropped subtle hints, the largest of which, i believe, being my absence. i am SOOOO very tired; more so than during my first pregnancy, chasing a three-year-old around only adds to my fatigue - i'm sure.

my pregnancy has been fairly uncomplicated, slight spotting during my first trimester managed to keep me suspended on the proverbial edge; while i know that i am covered in His blood, past experiences managed to prowl past my better senses, leaving me in a state of "awareness," so to speak. while i wasn't afraid - my faith never faltered - i found myself constantly being reminded of what could be - but i knew that His plan for me, for my family, far outreached any doubts Satan could undertake (i'm much stronger than he -the enemy- gives me credit for).

other than the spotting, there's this lingering asthma, which i can only pray dissipates with the dreaded baby weight (a number i shall not disclose; however, i have been told i'm not quite a whale, or even a cow) and a pinched nerve in my spine that strikes pain in my side i could only liken to that of an induced contraction.

as eventful as you might think things have been, i've been up to my eyeballs in nothing. a nothing that has disturbingly taken me so far away from my passion i needed directions and a short prayer to get back! so, you've got my full attention... until i deliver. after that i am making no promises.

more witty, mindless banter coming your way soon... i can't wait!

activating activism

2009-11-13T00:13:00.000-08:00

so... Maria's having a contest i thought would be fun to enter, until i read the guidelines, "Post on your blog (and leave a link) or Facebook or leave a comment describing how you balance humbleness with activism."

activism?

i've never really considered myself an actual activist for anything. sure, i've gotten greener over the years - but recycling and turning off the water while i brush hardly equals activist. and yes, since becoming a parent i've become rather vehement about certain family-oriented issues, but this does not an activist make.

this brought a question deeper than the contest (which may very likely have been Maria's objective - she's crafty like that) , am i not passionate enough about ANYTHING to simply take a stand? it forced me to ask myself, "where does your passion lie?"

family - given. writing - of course. but what is it that gets a rise in me so strong nothing can turn me away... my GOD! of course! because of Him i have my family, my passion (and self-proclaimed) ability to write. this is His world i am trying to be greener for. this is a no brainer!

so back to the question at hand, how do i balance being humble while attempting to spread the Word, advance His kingdom, remain in love, and fulfill His will? it's written plain and simply in His Word... give him the glory.

He deserves the glory, honor and praise for EVERYTHING. from the great miracles of my life to the seemingly miniscule obstacles like a short line at the grocery store (so domestic).

however, i've found, in this day and age it's not as simple as giving Him His due. there are so many religious radicals preaching the Word, or whatever their higher principles are rooted in, and living lives lead by violence, greed, lust, and many other undesirable traits. i find my balance in LIVING the Word.

to me, living the Word doesn't mean waling in perfection... no one can or does! it means doing right to and by others. helping when i can and often when i can't. being honest. admitting faults, working on them and forgiving others, including those who intentionally wrong. knowing that what i believe is not necessarily fitting for the world and not letting others beliefs (or lack thereof) affect my love for them. trying to live as blameless as possible while remembering my purpose is to enhance His kingdom peacefully, lovingly and non-hypocritically.

balancing the natural me, with the super-natural. knowing that i am IN the world, but not necessarily OF the world. a balance that is not easily found and often out of wack - but i try with all my heart and am dedicated to it night and day.

so maybe i am an activist after all. are you?

male contraception

2009-10-30T11:33:00.001-07:00

while cruising the net, because i have a little free time on my hands while the man is gone, i stumbled across an interesting article. i may be late on the topic -wouldn't doubt that, my ear isn't to the contraception street clearly- but male contraception has enveloped me!

yeah, i'm married, knocked up and i have a toddler, so contraception may be a waste of breath in my case (ha, that's funny to me), but i find the idea simply intriguing.

i have NO idea where i would stand on this issue if i were forced from my comfortable seated position. on one hand, women have been swallowing, injecting, and patching for years. one would assume it only fair for the responsibility to be shared or switched. on the other hand, the long term effects would concern me. a one-year-trial isn't long enough to ensure abundant sperm production after use.

i've heard women argue, "i wouldn't trust a man to take a pill everyday." men contend, "it's stops women from 'trapping' men."

i have LOTS of thoughts, but i want to hear from you. let's engage in a conversation! check out the article here: Male Contreceptives.

i look forward to hearing from you!

regarding bedroom etiquette

2009-10-29T06:33:00.000-07:00

i wonder where your mind wandered... well i'm referring to the etiquette of sharing the bed. (tsk tsk, what a dirty little mind you have!)

i'm not a small woman, but not a big one by any means. i measure in at a mere 5'3" and while i will withhold my weight -what, you thought i was going to put ALL my business out there?- i've got enough cushion for the man while maintaining a satisfactory limit for my standards. however, the man is well over a foot taller than me, and while his athletic build would have you believe he is thin - is is muscular with very broad shoulders and takes up a lot of room.

why am i divulging this information with you? not for you to have visions of the man (get your own!), but to help you understand the plight which he feels i don't harbor.

because he is larger, he believes he should have more then 50% of the bed. is he nuts? it's not about ration to me, this is cold hard facts. there are two halves to a bed - one is his and one is mine! we've passed the stage of cuddling through the night, while it was nice - we both like to breath, and both enjoy our space through the night. so, when i roll over onto the assumingly (i may have made that word up, yep, i think i did) unused 15% of my side i expect to be greeted with wide open space... i hardly ever am. those big shoulders are taking up my space and leaving his empty! the gall!

not to mention the plopping into the bed that leaves me bouncing half an inch.

what are your rules regarding space (and not you Maria, i KNOW you don't believe in it, LOL)? do you like to sleep alone in your world or cuddled up with a warm body?

i caught the bug...

2009-10-29T06:27:00.000-07:00

the twitter-bug that is.

i resisted for a VERY long time, not wanting to prove my husband right, i pretended as if it didn't exist. but it seemed to be all around me, everyone is on it, and i can share the ridiculously irrelevant rants that i can't on FB or even with you. needless to say, my succumbing came at a price... about 24 "i told you so's!"

you see, i have a bit of a facebook addiction. my dad is plenty full, between cooking, cleaning, taking care of my boys, writing, studying (the Word that is), and the newest addition to the agenda napping - i don't know how i have time to check fb every 10 minutes... but i do. and the hubby shakes his head with every log on. he was the first to join twitter and was confident that i would follow. strong-willed, i begged to differ. guess i didn't beg enough!

so... feel free to follow me @desperatelyreal. and if you don't already have a twitter i'm sure you will soon!

a resort for we

2009-09-24T07:43:00.001-07:00

yesterday my husband bought Wii Resort, a family game for the three of us to play.

my child picks up on things very quickly, to his advantage and disadvantage. while we have always prayed for an intelligent child, he is sometimes too smart for his own good. i'm sure many of my readers can attest to the same as you are all very intelligent yourselves, have mated with intelligent spouses and produced intelligent offspring.

we have noticed his personality to be rather attached - let me delve into that a bit deeper. while he doesn't seem to boast an addictive personality (that could be rather troubling), he attaches himself to things he likes - as many others do - not to the point of intoxication but a little too much for our liking. e.g. i bought a nintendo ds to play during long trips and waiting room visits. i would sometimes allow him to play for a few minutes here in there to appease his toddler appetite for non-physical activity.

it has always been important to both my husband and myself that our son not be a tech head - meaning he would rather play inside on the computer, video game system or any other non-human interactive network. not to say that we would stunt any budding interest in electronics, computer operating systems, etc.; however, i have seen the effects of playstations, xboxes and wiis. i'll even take it back to nintendos and sega-genesis. i can go as far as mentioning particular movies or television shows. we just don't want our children to development unhealthy attachments.

needless to say this new game is a gift and a curse. it truly is great family fun in which that we can all join, the instructions are not so difficult that my son cannot pick up and enjoy. the man and i have managed to regulate his video gaming so that it does not influence the boy or create a learned pattern. so when we are all playing and enjoying ourselves it is hard for our son to understand when playtime is over. he will try and play for hours and hours.

personally, i am irritated with video games after about twenty minutes or so. but the boy, he certainly isn't me! he has a leapfrog learning handheld that he will ask to play repeatedly. while it is a great way for him to learn i know that under the surface it is still a game.

everything in moderation, moderation is everything.

when regarding spiders...

2009-09-24T07:25:00.000-07:00

i'm quite afraid. i mean not deathly afraid - i'm not allergic or anything - but i can be quite literally scared stiff.

i don't know what it is about those eight legs (just thinking about them made me physically shudder as i typed) but they are simply and completely unpalatable - to me that is. i know there are people that LOVE them, and maybe i need to meet some of these folk. i don't imagine i already know anyone with such an odd preference (ok, now i'm getting judgmental - i'll stop).

either way, i bring this up because my husband, while not a spider-lover, is certainly not a spider-hater. he never, and i mean NEVER kills them as they roam freely through our home (not that we have an abundance of them, but seriously... one is more than enough). he will try and chase it out or grab it to gently place it outside - which wouldn't bother me so except for the fact that he often loses them... NOW WHAT DO I DO? how do i sleep at night knowing how little i actually know about it's whereabouts?

i mean, could you imagine... no really close your eyes and imagine you are asleep, and there's the slight twinge of a prickle on your arm. you swat it away thinking it a fly or even an involuntary twitch; but you feel it once more, this time a tiny tickle on your shoulder. in a deep sleep you almost shrug it off as a dream until you feel several little taps on your cheek... nose... eye.

okay, i've out done myself. i have to go take a shower because i am itching and completely grossed out.

food for thought #3

2009-09-20T07:13:00.000-07:00

my husband was given, as a father's day gift, a marriage-counseling book (of sorts) which entails a 40-day commitment to certain activities and personality boundaries that are a tad out of the norm for us, as a couple.

the first day of this book instructs it's reader to ignore anything that upsets them about or from their partner, holding their tongue and keeping in any anger. my husband and i have always been very vocal and honest in our relationship, vowing never to hold our tongues and express our feeling whether good or bad. we have experienced the overflow from accumulated aggression and would like to stay as far form that road as possible.
"He who conceals his hatred has lying lips..." - Proverbs 10:18

flipping through the book, he found other situations that contradict the rarity of our relationship's foundation.

i understand where the book is trying to go, and in some relationships this may be an effective means to an end; however we have proven time and time again that our relationship (while not perfect) has not benefitted from such practices.

needless to say, since this book was given to my husband has a gift, he ha decided to embark on the 40-day commitment and seems disappointed that i have not gotten on board.

the question i pose to you, am i being stubborn? my issue is centered more in the fact that i am not willing to jeopardize what my husband and i have built and have repeatedly found strength; BUT, i am also open to counsel - it says plenty of times on His Word that one who refuses counsel and direction is a fool and is destined for destruction.
"The way of a fool seems right to him, but a wise man listens to advice." - Proverbs 12:15

i was just talking about being open to His voice and heeding His will... am i blessing blocking???

of course i have, and am, praying on this matter, i just thought it might be a great blog topic!
help me out people!!!

i know He'll make a way

2009-09-19T04:56:00.000-07:00

i've got my mind stayed on the Lord and i know He'll make a way.

i am not seeking guidance in an particular area, when i look around at what the Lord has already done for me i am comforted in knowing that whatever may come my way HE will continue to keep me, because IF HE DID IT BEFORE, HE'LL DO IT AGAIN!!!

when i say that i am not seeking guidance in any particular area, don't let that lead you to believe that i am not yearning for His radiance to light my path... no. what i am searching for is a general wisdom from God that will help improve my love walk and increase my spiritual growth.

i am at a point where it is clear what He is doing for me, but what am i doing for Him? i never really know if it's enough.

so, while i try to i make sure i am constantly heeding His voice and achieving His will for my life not my own, i am often forced to step back and reevaluate where i could stand a bit of improvement. trust me, i am no where near perfect, but that is a part of the beauty of being a child of God, i am CONSTANTLY growing and will be forevermore. i will never get to point where i know all there is to know about His Word and His awesomeness - He will never cease to amaze me because He is that great.

out of my mind

2009-09-17T11:17:00.000-07:00

with boredom that is!

yet another road trip, only three days this time but it's been three hours and i am beyond bored. the boy doesn't want to play with me, the internet is doing a horrible job occupying my attention, french cable... yeah right, and the man has the laptop with the sling!

the last time i was this bored, i was in the hospital with a feared case of H1N1, also known as 'swine flu' or my favorite french moniker - The Mexican Influenza. so, in honor of my boredom, and yours if you're reading this ;), i'll give you the run down on my scare.

after a long day of traveling, between the lay-over and flight times a total of 17 hours, we arrive in frankfurt, germany... our final destination - strasbourg. so what does getting to strasbourg entail??? a 2-hour drive in a chartered van with an angry german-spanish woman driver and a spanish couple who think my family and i are participants in the amazing race!

a bit of my flying history for you, i am never nervous or fearful of flying but i can never achieve peaceful unaided sleep during long flights. i find this especially true when flying with my son, i've seen flight plan - you won't be getting my boy! sorry, i digress... these two flights proved no different. i probably slept a total of a whopping two hours! so the long drive into france was welcomed when i found solace in about 45 minutes of uninterrupted rest.

after an hour of formalities with the team another hour of showing us around and to our place, we were finally home. unpacking wasn't a thought, cleaning... uh uh. i tried to attack the internet's connection before i was overwhelmed with a wave of fatigue. needless to say, i decided to lay down - after a few hours of rest i should be energized and ready to tackle the tasks ahead of me. not the case. i fell horribly ill during the night, racking in another 30 minutes of rest, i was barraged with bouts of vomiting, coughing fits and extreme headaches. by 8am i was sure i needed to head to the hospital.

to make this already long story shorter, i was in the hospital for two days, the first rifled with doctors in head-to-toe protective gear to shield them selves from my potential virus. i was not allowed to see my son, my husband could only visit in short spurts and was not allowed to touch me, my room was plagued with doctors, assistants, students, and others touching, testing, questioning, and generally barraging me!

after hours of poking and prodding, a member of the team's administration enters my room with no mask or precautionary garb. is she nuts, i don't want to infect her. not only does she have no protection, she comes in to hug me! get out of here lady!!!

"you really shouldn't be in here without a mask or something, " i chided gently.

her nonchalant reply, "oh it's ok, you don't have the swine flu, the doctor told me a while ago. great news!"

ummmmmm, did the doctor tell me and i forgot? nope. not at all. i thought maybe i should know seeing as how i am worrying my BUTT off that i may have infected my family. ten minutes later, in he strolls with the great, albeit late, news. another night of observation and could more than like be released the next afternoon.

his diagnosis? pregnancy induced asthma. apparently i had an asthma attack... do i have asthma? nope. not at all. i had a hard time agreeing with the verdict initially; however, i have since had maybe two attacks so maybe he's right. just maybe.

at the end of the day, i am thankful for the Lord's presence and hand in my life. i know that each day i am here to avoid the H1N1's of the world is a blessing because i know He will bring me through all of it because i am covered in His blood and continually give Him the honor, glory and praise!

sheesh, writing is a GREAT cure for boredom! if you've gotten this far it's safe to say reading is as well. xo

the 'daricks'

2009-09-16T09:42:00.001-07:00

i just spent a week with my 2nd family in belgium and i miss them already.

reflecting on our visit, we didn't do much. i mainly talked & joked with one of my bet friends and played with the kids, including my absolutely ADORABLE Godson Aysaiah, but it was much needed and well appreciated. it's funny how a little nothing goes a long way.

hopefully us being here in france will open the door to many visits this season, the 'daricks' or 'riddens' (our last names morphed together) should be in full effect.

while we were missing an integral piece of our threesome - i see you Overseas Housewife - we still managed to have an absolute blast while reliving old memories and creating new ones.

make sure to tell yoru loved ones near and far how much you love them. i know i'm always stressing the importance of relationships and telling people you love them, but a little love a'int neva' hurt nobody!

send someone a virtual hug today, i BET it will make their day! wanna take me up on that???

food for thought #2 (only #2?? i've been a horrible blog host!)

2009-09-16T09:06:00.001-07:00

i am a neat freak. not in all situations but most. not so much as a child or teenager, but now it borders obsessive (i may have told you this before).

i completely and utterly get it from my momma, as a i child she made us clean the base boards on the walls. not in a child abuse kind-of-way, but a, "my baseboards are dirty to me whether you see it or not and you need to learn the true meaning of cleanliness kind-of-way."

sure i have my lazy days, recently they've plagued me something vicious, but for the most part i am a wiping, picking up behind you, complaining, and instructing nut.

i say all of this to say that while i am comfortable with my OCD and my husband has gotten rather accustomed to it - he came home one day last season to a whirl wind of a mess and actually asked, "what's going on here? the house is a mess, are you sick," i don't want to drive my son insane.

yes i make him clean after himself, we do not ask much of him but to love the Lord, respect and care for others, pay attention during learning time, and clean up after himself. but i don't want to impose my neurotic behavior on him.

what are your cleaning, do's, dont's, lacks, and mishaps???

viva la france

2009-09-16T08:19:00.000-07:00

we are now in lovely strasbourg, france, and about amount in i have no complaints. the language barrier is not much of a problem as i have learned enough french to get around and plan on learning more. already impressed with their health and educational systems, it looks like strasbourg is a great fit for my family and i. the major drawback??? TAXES! the taxes here are RI-DIC-U-LOUS!!!

over the yeas i've heard numerous players complain about french taxing, specially after playing here for more than one year. for instance, if you are employed in france or simply spend more than 182 days in any calendar year in said country - regardless of your citizenship - you are required to pay a residency tax. here's my question... with this "residensy tax" am i also entitles to a french passport??? oh, i didn't think so.

granted, you pay taxes to whatever country you play in... understood; no one is debating the validity of having one's wages earned in a particular country taxed. however, if i am taxed on my wages, paying bills, taxed on my purchases, and treated like CRAP for being an american... haven't i paid my dues? especially i still have to go home and pay taxes?

speaking of sales tax, or what they call TVA (Taxe à la Value Ajouté), the standard rate is... what, i want to make sure you're sitting down. no way after paying my french residency tax am i going to shell out of a lawsuit if you hurt yourself from this... 19.6%. from what i have read, chicago taxes ring in the highest at a whopping 10.25% and delaware does not impose a sales tax on consumers but businesses... are we really this spoiled?

i am going to go ahead and leave you with these two examples as i have no particular desire to cause any further undue strain to your cerebrum and i am also quite riled up myself. feel free to research it yourself, and please don't take any of the figures learned here to a tax lawyer... i did not research extensively myself.

i am not complaining, i am thankful to be blessed with a job and happy to pay whatever they want... i'm just sayin'.

to all of my lovely readers

2009-09-14T04:49:00.000-07:00

so, it's been over two months, huh? how dare i!!!! i am so very sorry to have abandoned you all for so long, i know it has been difficult to get through the day without my pointless yammerings - but don't fret... if time permits, i will return with a new post just a little bit later in the day!

things have been rather hectic, but i am anxious to get back in the groove and share all of my nothing with you all! i also look forward to your input! so i'll talk to you real soon, xoxo.

"The Work of Our Hands" - QT7

2009-07-03T10:01:00.000-07:00

Scripture Reading: Psalm 90:12-17
Key Verse: Psalm 90:17b

Confirm for us the work of our hands; yes, confirm the work of our hands.

excerpt:
"For many years i struggled with the idea of worth in my work. I didn't have an advance college degree and i was a homemaker with five children... I found myself saying to myself:

- You aren't worth much.
- You didn't have a career.
- Your job is so mundane.
- Anyone can do what you do.
- I don't have enough energy to do anything else.
- I'm stuck in a rat race with no place to go...

I'm sure many reader's of today's passage feel they have little worth in their hands {homemaker or otherwise}. They have been brow beaten into thinking that life is fleeting by and they are being left behind... I soon realized that life this whole concept of work and worth was very complex and there was no right answer to fit all situations.

As I looked at Titus 2:4-5, I realized that God wanted me to be a lover of my husband and children... Even though I have gone way beyond those early beginnings, i come across countless women who don't know about or aren't willing to perform the basic focus of a married woman: being a lover of their husband and children... What's in it for me as a woman? Proverbs 31: 28-29 gives me my blessing."

i'll always love my momma - she's my favorite girl

2009-07-03T09:50:00.001-07:00

my mother came to visit this past week to attend our son's dedication. since the birth of my son my relationship with my mother has improved exponentially and i was very happy to have her spend time with us.

over the course of her four-day visit, we talked, shopped, lounged, cooked, we simply did the mother-daughter thing and i have to admit i sorely missed it. i didn't realize how much i longed for this quality time with my mother and have since been relieved of certain stresses and anxious to do it again.

do not get me wrong, i have plenty of motherly love, as i mentioned in previous posts, my step-mother is EVERYTHING to me. i love her to pieces, she is definitely one of my very best friends. not to mention my mother-in-law with whom i can freely share anything and spend hours with.

however, there's nothing like the relationship between mother and child, a bond i hadn't grasped the true circumference of until very recently; sad, but true.

so, today i know our potential and i will continue to do all i can to ensure we remain thick as thieves. not to probe too much, but do you have a nice relationship with your mother or mother-figure? if so, make sure to call her today and let her know how much he means to you, if not, call her anyway. try to get to the bottom of what is holding your relationship back. i bet you'll feel much better after doing so, wanna take me up on that???

baby love

2009-07-01T09:23:00.000-07:00

not too long ago, i began singing the song "baby love" by the supremes to the boy - not the entire song, just a short excerpt, "baby love, my baby love, i need you oh how i need you." any of you with impressionable toddlers can probably attest to the fact that they need only hear a short passage a few times until it is committed to their small memories. well the boy is no different, he began to sing along with me shortly after.

my mother was visiting (another post in and of itself), and we decided to showcase our musical abilities to "Grammy." after singing our version once, the boy breaks out into his own rendition, "Mommy love, my mommy love, i need you oh how i need you."

my heart pretty much melted. moments like these are what parenthood are all about. your child expressing creativity, intelligence and most importantly... love. i know the boy and i have shared plenty of these moments, what are some you have shared with your children, family members or other loved ones?

"Blessed Assurance" - QT6

2009-07-01T09:03:00.000-07:00

Scripture Reading & Key Verses: Psalm 37:1-40
Read and meditate on each verse today

excerpt:
"During my quiet time with the Lord in this particular psalm, certain key phrases comfort my soul:

- Do not fret, be not envious (verse 1).
- Trust in the Lord, cultivate faithfulness (verse 3).
- Delight yourself in the Lord, He will give you abundantly (verse 4).
- Commit your way to Him, trust also in Him (verse 5).
- Rest in the Lord, wait patiently (verse 7).
- Cease from anger, do not fret (verse 8).
- The humble will inherit the land (verse 11).
- Depart from evil (verse 27).
- Wait for the Lord (verse 34).

Then in verses 39 and 40 we read of the great blessings we receive as children of God" :The salvation of the righteous is from the Lord; He is our strength in time of trouble. And the Lord helps them and delivers them; He delivers them from the wicked and saves them, because they take refuge in Him."

the next big thing

2009-06-30T01:23:00.000-07:00

my son had his first organized basketball game this past saturday and it was a HOOT! i don't know why it was so entertaining, his soccer matches aren't as comical - but these basketball games and practices tickle me.

the games are to last an hour (which, btw, is absurd to me, by half time these kids want nothing more than to run around and play), there aren't any calls - no traveling, fouls or techs, there isn't any REAL defense but there are PLENTY of things going on!

let me preface this by saying the division in which he plays is for three and four year olds, the boy being a mere two, is one of the smallest things on the court and his attention span is a bit shorter. i say this to let you know that as he ran around the entire court with the ball before shooting it on (numerous occasions) no one was terribly upset with him. when a child stopped mid court to break dance, no one stopped him. when half of my son's team simultaneously fell to the floor where they laid out as if soaking up the sun for a few minutes, it was not out of the ordinary.

what did seem a bit odd to me was the lack of control the coaches had over their teams and how two or three players dominated the game. their parents cheered them on, as expected, but much to my suprise - and dismay, these same parents were encouraging their children to be violent and win at all costs. i have yet to determine if it is this particular opposing team or the league as a whole, i have my ears to the street because i find this unacceptable.

i am very active in my son's physical activities, i try my hardest to be hands on; however, i dread becoming a soccer mom who forces her child to this and that practice and screams at the top of her lungs at their each and every move. my son's playing basketball was HIS choice, we did not force it on him nor do we encourage it more than any of his other activities (which is a little difficult for his father). as long as he enjoys himself and is safe we are happy, but i cannot have him in a hostile environment under the auspices of community leisure... we'll see.

saturdays are busy days, can't wait to see what next saturday brings!

"Stop and Come" - QT5

2009-06-30T01:14:00.000-07:00

Scripture Reading: Genesis 22:1-18
Key Verse: Genesis 22:8

Abraham answered, "God himself will provide the lamb for the burnt offering, my son." And the two of them went on together.

excerpt:
" 'We will worship. We will come back.' Abraham believed in God. He trusted God, and he kept moving ahead in obedience to God... Abraham named that place on top of the mountain "The Lord WIll Provide." There was no doubt in Abraham's heart that God would provide."

Rest in Peace Michael Joseph Jackson

2009-06-26T09:37:00.000-07:00

yesterday we lost an icon. Michael Jackson, despite his tabloid-esque later years, was undeniably one of if not, and in my opinion, THE world's greatest entertainer and will truly be missed. his music touched the lives of generations, my mother listened to him growing up, i listened to him growing up and my son is listening to him as he grows.

he remembered the time, reminded us that the girl was his and not paul mccartney's, loved a mouse named ben, taught us our abc's and 123's (not literally but you get the picture), he screamed, thrilled, let us know it didn't matter if we were black of white, healed the world - and much much more.

let us remember him as the sound we came up to and nothing more.
Michael Joseph Jackson August 29, 1958 – June 25, 2009

preposterous feelings

2009-06-26T09:22:00.000-07:00

my husband has begun to train at the professional facility where he spends most of his summer days, leaving the boy and i to our hours alone. we play, we read, we learn, we go to the gym, we go for walks, we cuddle, we may even nap. i cherish these moments with my son as i know he is getting older and such times are precious and will begin to appear fewer and further between.

where am i going with this other than being an emotional sap, i'll cut to the chase. my son has chosen my husband over me various times this week, and i CLEARLY dislike it. my little feelings get hurt and it is absolutely RIDICULOUS!!! i spend all day with the boy, he misses his father and i poke my lip out when he chooses to sit with him at a restaurant or ride with him in the car... HOW SELFISH.

i'm sure you have all seen by now through my various posts the bordering obsession i have with my son, i'm nuts about the little guy but i know i have to loosen my reins. not only for him, for myself and for any future children we may (prayerfully soon) have. it's a work in progress, and i promise i am truly working on it.

are any of you obsessed with your children or any other relationship you may have here on earth (notice i threw "on earth" in there, we should all be heavily obsessed with God so that 's a given :p)? help me out, let me know i'm not alone - or confirm that i am and need professional help!!!

"To Pray is to Work - To Work is to Pray" - QT4

2009-06-26T09:12:00.000-07:00

Scripture Reading: Proverbs 31:10-31
Key Verse: Proverbs 31:31

Give her the product of her hands, and let her works praise her in the gates. (NASB)

excerpt:
"Martin Luther once said that a man can milk cows to the glory of God. It is our own attitude toward work that reflects the joy of the Lord.... How do we learn that to pray is to work, and to work is to pray?
- Each morning when we wake up, we thank God for a new day and all that is in it.
- We offer to God in worship all of our energies, creativity, time, and skills.
- We recognize that work done in an attitude of prayer brings excellence, which in turn bears testimony to God.
- We realize that we are obedient to God when we provide for our family and their needs.
- We model to our children that work so good, so that they see us give worship to God for the work He has given us.

June 25

2009-06-25T23:10:00.000-07:00

on this day 27 years ago at 10:05pst, the fruit of two loins was born... ME!

i've spent today with family and i feel so very blessed to see another year. i thank the Lord for bringing me this far and praise Him for taking me even further. as i work toward fulfilling His will for my life i come across many different types of people, each of these individuals impacting my life as He sees fit, including you!

thank you for contributing in my journey, i look forward to many more years of friendship and honest conversation!

"Do You Love Me" - QT3

2009-06-25T23:04:00.000-07:00

Scripture Reading: John 21:15-22
Key Verse: John 21:15a (NASB)

Jesus said to Simon Peter, "Simon, son of John, do you love Me more than these?"

excerpt:
"In our passage today Jesus asks Peter three times (after his denial of His crucifixion and resurrection and Peter's recent denial of Him) whether Peter really loves Him... Jesus in all His love for Peter wanted to give him a second chance to follow Him."

"Stand By Your God" - QT2

2009-06-24T09:15:00.000-07:00

Scripture Reading: Psalm 116:1-2
Key Verse: Psalm 116:2b

I will call on Him as long as i live.

a quick excerpt from the text:
"God greatly desires to spend time alone with you. After all, you are His child. He created you, He loves you, and He gave His only Son for your salvation. Your heavenly Father wants to know you, and He want you to know Him. The Creator of the universe wants to meet with you alone daily. How can you say no to such an opportunity?"

busy bee

2009-06-23T09:37:00.000-07:00

last week two of my little brothers graduated, one from high school, the other from junior high. we traveled to los angeles to attend one of the graduations and returned home to eight visiting family members. yes i said and meant EIGHT!

it was wild! cooking, cleaning, hostessing (i may have made that word up), entertaining, chauffeuring; i'm telling you, i was beat! but it was wonderful to have them all here enjoying one another's company. we worked on new dance moves, played games, had deep conversations, we laughed we joked, we simply luxuriated in each other.

my husband assembled our new bar-b-que pit and we did it big. he was a great sport by the way. it took him hours and hours to get it together, he then attacked a broken toilet. if your spouse is anything like mine, he gets rather irritated when putting things together or fixing things that aren't as simply as they appear. well the man never snapped or lost focus, he's my superman and i am grateful for his acceptance and openness to my family (sorry had to show a little love).

at the end of their visit i was sad to see everyone go but i had to get my house back together. more cleaning, washing and organizing. i realize that the work of entertaining pales in view of the greater good. we get together with the fam every week for sunday but that comes and goes with little intimacy, to be under one roof for an extended period of time requires a different commitment and i pray we can make this a more regular (but not TOO regular) an occurrence with both sides of our family.

of course it brings a question for you to mind... when was the last time you gathered in a large group of family or friends, under one roof, for an extended period of time. what was the outcome, i know from experience that some musterings can go awry, and how did it make you feel afterwards; some may feel drained, others rewarding, maybe both.

TALK TO ME PEOPLE!!!

"Becoming New, Becoming Strong" - quiet moment 1

2009-06-23T09:20:00.000-07:00

hello all, i am so very sorry for my disappearance, i had eight visiting family members last week! that should be enough said!!!

yesterday i bought a devotional for women, Quiet Moments Alone with God, by Emilie Barnes, while i read several daily devotionals, this one in particular seems very fitting to my life and Love Walk; i have decided to share the daily scripture readings and key verses with you all in hopes that it may help develop, encourage or build on an existing prayer time or "quiet moments" in your life, i will not share my musings from the passage unless He guides me to do so; however, PLEASE FEEL FREE TO SHARE your thoughts and reflections as i will indulge in conversation through your personal rants.

time alone with God helps us to build a stronger relationship with Him, it provides an opportunity to hear directly from Him and helps develop discipline. i pray that each of you is able to find time to spend with God and see how it affects your life, give him praise, thanks, requests, confessions, whatever your heart sees fit. i hope this helps at least one person grow spiritually as it is a life-long journey! enjoy!!!

Scripture Reading: 2 Corinthians 5:15-18
Key Verse: 2 Corinthians 5:17
Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!

putting in work

2009-06-15T21:34:00.000-07:00

being an overseas housewife (take note to the AN and not THE, that title is taken), i have come to realize that i have friends all over the globe, and more than mere acquaintances, people i actually call and consider friends.

being a friend is a bit of a daunting task that i feel many take lightly.

when i am out of the country, my friendship core (as i like to call them) is put to the test. between the time difference and scheduling discrepancies, it is flat out hard! however, i strongly believe that relationships, of every kind, require work and a sense of dedication; friendships included. so when i make the long trip over the water, i know the task at hand and am always wiling to put in the work.

A friend is loving at all times, and becomes a brother in times of trouble.-- Proverbs 17:17, The Holy Bible in Basic English

******update: i have recently come into contact with a few "blast from the past" friends and am thankful that God has seen fit to renew, refresh and allow me to relive these relationships. one in particular i pray will remain constant as my heart has longed to reach out to this individual for years.*******

friendships can be so very stimulating and sometimes life-sustaining, i hope that you cherish your friendships and work at keeping them fresh and active, a deactivated friendship can sometimes deactivate the soul!

you, my loyal readers are my friends, now go out into the world and find me more FRIENDS!!!

how strong is your strength?

2009-06-12T10:08:00.000-07:00

If you falter in times of trouble, how small is your strength!--Proverbs 24:10

strength, as defined by merriam-webster is:
1: the quality or state of being strong : capacity for exertion or endurance
2: power to resist force : solidity, toughness
3: power of resisting attack : impregnability.
the only listed synonym, power.

strength is quite often developed through hard times, these times being the weights that build our spiritual muscles. as Christians, we will all meet trials and tribulations, the testament to our character is how we deal with said pressure. a fairly popular saying, 'pressure busts pipes, but it also makes a diamond,' is taken right from the Word, not verbatim, rather the concept of faltering or standing firm in your faith.

we have to decide which side we are rooting for, the Lord's or the world's.

the world will have you believe that your options are limited, when one door is closed you are stuck in the room you are in, that your physical ability is all there is. however we operate by a different set of laws, laws that the world simply doesn't understand. i know that i have limitless power because it was given me by my Lord and Savior through His Sacrifice. i know that if i am following the Lord's will for my life i will lack nothing and experience and abundance of "doors" and opportunity. i know that my physical ability has afforded me NOTHING on this earth, that all i have was given to me with his super on my natural (Creflo Dollar).

when it is all said and done we have to be soldiers in Christ, enduring hardship. Second Timothy 2:9-13 reads:

9for which I am suffering even to the point of being chained like a criminal. But God's word is not chained. 10Therefore I endure everything for the sake of the elect, that they too may obtain the salvation that is in Christ Jesus, with eternal glory.

11Here is a trustworthy saying:
If we died with him,
we will also live with him;
12if we endure,
we will also reign with him.
If we disown him,
he will also disown us;
13if we are faithless,
he will remain faithful,
for he cannot disown himself.

we must be strong and not falter, upheld by our faith and His promise. i realize this is easier said than done, and i am being much preachier than normal, but this as heavy on my heart this morning and i was led to share this with all of you.

2Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. 4Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.-- James 1:2-4

#804

2009-06-01T23:18:00.001-07:00

as my visit comes to an end i reflect on the time that monday (my best friend's nickname - keep up people!) and i have spent together... not simply this trip, but the nearly 15 years that my bff and i have known one another.

wanna talk about good times, we've got more than the average bear. bad times, don't even need two hands to count them. the memories are innumerable and the bond inseparable. so what makes this trip extra special??? we are adults, with separate, very different lives, living thousands of miles apart, often times unable to speak to one another, and we are still going strong.

i have lost many a friend over the years, but my core has remained the same. i love these girls because they are my voluntary family, they chose me despite of my flaws. we all take the time to nourish our relationships so that they stay healthy and able to grow as we do.

some find it sad that the vast majority of my closest friends are from high school, i find it CLASSIC.

and with about eight hours left here in #804 i am saddened. i have enjoyed my time here more than i thought possible. days full of nothing, sitting around staring into gigi's eyes or watching guilty pleasures on the boob tube... i know i've missed my best friend, and in a few more days i will begin to miss her all over again. a shoulder, a set of ears, a pair of eyes when mine seem blinded, a release, true support, my conscience, an honest tongue... God gave me the best friend in the world.

good-bye #804, until next time.

status update

2009-06-01T10:17:00.000-07:00

it's been nearly 96 hours, my progress... pretty darn good. okay, i cried when i left him, did you really expect anything less? of course i call him everyday, wouldn't consider myself a good parent if i did not.

i miss him more than i can express in words, i don't think there are any that thoroughly encompass what i feel. when i called him yesterday morning i cried, a lot. it was the first time since our departure that i had shed a tear but it had been a long time coming.

i'm quite proud of my headway and the and the self-control, unbeknownst to me, that kept me from calling him ALL DAY LONG, hindering his growth. see - this trip has been very important for the both of us, we are very much shackled at the hip and need this time apart to see that we can exists without one another. the difficulties this presents to me as an attached parent are countless but the most important thing is that he grows to be a fully functioning boy who doesn't have to call his mother to wipe his butt when he is 10, right? right. this is what i keep telling myself.

but you know what??? tomorrow i get to see my baby!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

is love too much???

2009-05-31T15:54:00.000-07:00

i tell my close friends and family members that i love them all quite often, when we part, in closing a telephone conversation, many times for no reason at all. This brings to mind a rather unpleasant thought, after being said in such excess does LOVE lose it's sentiment? is it reduced to a mere word?

i once believed that i should never go to sleep angry with someone solely because neither their nor my tomorrow is promised. we do not know our own day of reckoning and if it is our time to go we, of course, would want those we care about to know how we feel. i have also adopted my father's belief that our personal joy is too sweet to be stolen by anger, especially during our, to some precious, hours of sleep. most importantly... it says it in the Word, so that's that.

through personal growth, prayer and an intensity in my Love Walk, i have learned just how important it is to be a good daughter, sister, friend, or stranger. i, personally, enjoy being told i am loved and appreciated, this does not mean that my friends and family want to be constantly barraged by my emotional monologues.

so tell me, is love enough or can it sometime be too much???

it's a family affair

2009-05-31T07:56:00.000-07:00

last sunday, i prepared our traditional sunday dinner all by my lonesome. this dinner is no light matter, i'm talking grandmother, mother-in-law, aunts, uncles, brothers, sisters, cousins, and my parents were in town for the weekend! i was worried. i've never cooked for so many people.

on the menu, baked chicken, mashed potatoes, broccoli, corn on the cob, and macaroni and cheese. getting to a late start, i nearly pulled out my recently purchased hair. i organized everything and got to work. managing my time and starting dishes in cooking order i found, I AM A PRO. not with the taste so much, but the multi-tasking was GREAT.

now that taste... OH EM GEE. it was the best meal i have EVER prepared! i mean literally EVER. i'm so proud of me.
um, that's it. just tooting my own horn. ciao.

respect

2009-05-29T16:31:00.000-07:00

as you may or may not know, i rebound for my husband quite regularly. i'm a focused rebounder, perfecting my pass, running to the ball and... eh, whatever else a professional rebounder strives to achieve. so, given the heavy responsibilities expected of me, i have very little time to indulge in my surroundings on the court... YEAH RIGHT!

as i rebound i'm watching the clock, i notice the various bystanders observing the man as he shoots as well as the perplexed co-inhabitants of the court wondering why the heck I am there. i have come to find most of the hubby's baller friends don't feel i belong on the court, not in a sexist manner, more so that i myself am not a ball player and they would never dare ask their spouses to do the same. while this particular rant will not go into detail how i feel about this i will say, if my husband has a dream and needs help - whether he has asked or not - how can i ever say i truly support him without getting out there and getting down and dirty (well more-so sweaty) myself?

i digress, as he shoots, i often notice that there are may be five to ten men on the court at any given time, on the other side of the court, on the two baskets bordering his, but not one person has EVER attempted shooting at the goal in which he is shooting. this is unheard of in today's world. a respect like we rarely see. in a time where elders are disregarded, laws are repeatedly broken and The Word is down-right disdained, i find a slight pleasure in the respect that these ballers have for one another and wonder why we as a PEOPLE can not have a similar reverence for one another. on the same note, it troubles me to know that not all of these same people treat every aspect of their life with the same esteem.

my personal conclusion??? going out of my way to be respectful to everyone, bordering irritating, to find the balance. to see when, where and how people regard respect; when little is expected and when deemed absolutely necessary. stay tuned, i'll let you know how my little experiment is going.

separation anxious

2009-05-28T18:59:00.000-07:00

so today's the day.

i am on the plane right now.

did i cry, yes. am i crying??? no.

am i sad??? yes.

do i miss my stinky baby??? yes.

will i be okay???? yep.

will i let you know how it all turns out??? maybe if you're lucky!

do the right thing

2009-05-28T09:14:00.000-07:00

first and foremost, hello all, i've missed you so very much! i am going to pace myself as not to barrage you with too many posts at once and i'll try to keep them brief, but i have had A LOT on my mind.

my husband and i have been making regular trips to visit my parents in los angeles from our home in las vegas via the good 'ole stage coach (that would be our vehicle, i use the antiquated term because we REALLY should fly). during these trips we have lengthy conversations of ranging topics from our religious beliefs (i'm sure you know where we stand on that by now) to modern fashion to the desire to have flown.

on our most recent trip, the man decided that he was rather tired and we needed to switch positions if we were to arrive at our destination safely. so, we stop at the nearest gas station, i climb to the driver's seat while he rummages the convenient store for a snack, which isn't a snack so much as candy and junk food with no dietary value. with the boy asleep in the back and the man on what usually is a five-minute ravage of the candy section, i search aimlessly for a quick fix of entertainment.

out of my window to the left is a permanently seated elderly gentleman reading a book, i find myself inclined to speak to him and am instantly delighted that i did. he was reading The Bible and we briefly discussed the chapter and verse that stole his focus. i wish upon wishes that i could remember which it was, i cannot; however at the time, our conversation enveloped me. i was pleased as punch to discuss my Lord and Saviour, the impact He has on my life and how the Word guides my life. encouraged by his shared enthusiasm, we continued our conversation as my husband returned from the convenient store. he joined our conversation that came to an end with many exchanged pleasantries, blessings, we gave him bottled water and money as well.

oh, did i fail to mention he was homeless? sorry, it didn't occur to me now or during our conversation. here was this man, in a wheelchair, very little to eat, toting a brand spanking new Bible given to him by the pastor of the church he frequents. i strongly believe we were the first people to speak to him that day.

it genuinely warmed my heart to see the smile on his face as we discussed a matter NO ONE else was willing to discuss with him outside of the walls of the church. so do me a favor, talk to someone you wouldn't normally today. i'm not necessarily asking you to discuss your religious beliefs, while i know as a child of God it is my responsibility and obligation to share my testimony, not everyone feels comfortable doing so. all i am asking is that you spare an extra word or two with someone you would normally extend a smile.

let's see how this goes, INTERACT PEOPLE!!!!! i look forward to hearing from you all soon!!!!!!!

mini-vaca

2009-05-22T22:53:00.000-07:00

hello all, i am taking a short leave effective immediately. don't fret, i will still be journaling all of my rants and will probably hit you with more than you want to read all at once. keep your brains churning in wait for i shall return.

what's the matter... jealous???

2009-05-17T14:42:00.000-07:00

i have a friend who, before 9/11, would go to the airport to people watch. he would sit stationary for hours at a time, marveling at the myriad of cultures and nationalities the passed him oblivious of his watching eyes. my husband has admitted that during school he and a friend would sit in the cafeteria and count the number of people who blessed their food before beginning to consume. me, i like to look at faces, i like to see fashion and i like to see human interaction.

i know that true beauty comes from within, am a firm believer that one's actions and the way they treat others can make them hideous and am often disgusted by the conceit that men and women often possess after repeatedly being told that they are "beautiful".

that being said, when i people watch, i freely point out women i believe to be attractive. i point these women out to my husband to see if he agrees. i have been told this is a HORRIBLE thing to do. let me tell you first that my husband and i have a brutally honest relationship and have from day one. we have never hid or withheld anything from one another even if we felt it may produce anger. it is an honesty that built trust and has held us together.

i'm not very fond of the word jealous, i believe that jealousy is a tricky trait. i, for one, have always believed myself to be a very nonchalant individual who cannot be provoked into jealousy. however, i have had bouts with fans, etc. where i have shown jealous-esque behavior.

i say all this to ask, do you think my husband and i should not be so candid with one another? does your relationship share the comfort of honesty or do you feel that men and women should keep some things sacred? i know what works for us, what works for you???

a simple smile

2009-05-13T21:13:00.000-07:00

a tiny elbow jolted me from peaceful sleep this morning, it's official... i'm awake. i lay back on the pillow mentally planning the events of the day; i've got to get a gift for my sister-in-law, the bunk-bed will be delivered today (yes, the $67 bunk-bed from Ashely's, i'm still stoked on the great deal!), insoles for the man, and paint shopping - i'm clearly in no rush to get up.

a small hand grazes my face, dreary eyes gaze into mine lovingly and the corners or that little mouth turn up. my heart melts about three times, it's been 30 months and he gets me every time.

rustling to my left, the man knows we're up and he's fighting it. he's usually the first out of bed, this morning he's relishing in being the last to wake.
***
he sits up, rubs his eyes and turns to his wife whose stare is burning a whole into the back of his head. he is greeted by a huge grin, "why are you always smiling when you wake up?, " he asks. "i smile when i see you, " she returns lovingly.

all he could mutter was a mere, "wow."

her heart still belongs to him after all these years. today will be a great day.
***
yep, i love him - now what!!!

"Vanessa's Rich"

2009-05-13T11:34:00.000-07:00

upstairs, the boys playing wii; outside, the spa and other optional upgrades; inside, all of our needs met (thank you Jesus); on the television, The Cosby Show. i've always enjoyed the The Cosby Show, as a child it was entertaining, though i can admit i did not completely understand it's themes and messages - i now see that back then i didn't have a firm grasp of the stories they told, their importance and implications on impressionable minds. but, thanks to the studio audience, i always knew when to laugh, whether i understood the joke or not.

on today's episode (well the show from about 20 years ago) Vanessa gets into a physical fight with two girls from school who tease and try to belittle her by labeling her a "rich girl." having grown up "middle-class," this is a problem i have never had; however i have had similar problems. the issue, as absurd as it is, is something that plagues children, teenagers and adults alike.

these girls poked and prodded Vanessa saying that she thought she was better than everyone else and calling her stuck up. this sincerely troubled Vanessa, so much so that she thought life would be better without the privileges and opportunities of wealth. she even commented that as an adult, she would be sure not attain wealth so that her children would not share her 'problems'. while i am aware that most of her antics were for entertainment purposes, they are rooted in a truth that i believe people many times overlook.

children want to fit in, before members of the pep squad visited her home (ok, this is getting pretty trivial - the pep squad???) she was a part of the crowd, she did not stick out for any particular reason. upon her peers witnessing the nice things provided her by her parents' hard work she was immediately ordained in a category where she did not belong and had no desire to dwell.

as a child we lived in an okay neighborhood - we lacked for nothing as my mother superbly provided for my sister and i on her own; however, i did not attend the local schools, i was bused to a college prepatory school from the sixth grade until high school graduation. thanks to the Los Angeles Center for Enriched Studies, i can boast in receiving an excellent education while being surrounded by a myriad of cultures and individuals who promoted diversity and a well-rounded character. my vice, speaking intelligibly. i know, ridiculous, right? well i was constantly teased, harassed and bullied in my own neighborhood by children who said i spoke too proper and thought i was "too good." this did not bother me as it did Vanessa, i was proud that i was educated and have since worked hard to perfect my vice.

my husband and i would like to send our son to a private or international school and have begun the research to see this through. we believe that we are instilling the right qualities in our son that he would not be led to believe that he is anything more or less than what he is. that he is not better or worse off than anyone else based on what he has, or does not have. that as a child of God he is to love first and foremost and in times of doubt or concern he should turn to God and not rely on what is believed to be 'normal' by the world's standards. i pray that we make the right decisions in raising him that when he is faced with life's issues he knows who he is and WHO'S he is and is able to ac accordingly.

happy mother's day

2009-05-08T10:12:00.000-07:00

as a daughter, i have always tried my best to do something extra special on mother's day. whether it was giving my mother and/or step-mother a day off, trying to find the PERFECT (and i mean PERFECT gift) or trying to express my appreciation and love as vividly as possible. as i have gotten older my family relationship has evolved beautifully; my father and i have always been best friends, his wife and i even closer, but i was a true teenager in that i would rather spend my time with friends and boys that my family.

i realize now that mother's day should not have been the only day i went out of the way to help out a little or express my love and appreciation, these women were in the job 24/7, one day simply isn't enough.

i have three mothers, my birth mother, my step-mother and my mother-in-law. there is a saying "you only have one mother, so take care of her." while there is only one woman who gave birth to me and NO ONE can ever take her place, the latter two are very special to me as well because they have accepted and loved me beyond limit by choice... not obligation.

in honor of mother's day, i'm going to share a special memory with each of these three super women! i hope it encourages you to call your mom and let her know just what she means to you, even two days before mother's day!

my birth mom, we'll call her Mrs. S, is a wonderfully caring person and mother. we have had our ups and downs, but her place in my heart is firm and unchangeable. as a child i followed behind her every step, i wanted to be just like her. on many levels i still do, she's very strong, i believe her strength is what brought me through many troubles - not my own. she speaks freely and expresses herself as she sees fit, yet i've only seen her cry once. i was hurt, it was a big deal - no it was a huge deal. something that has shaped the woman that i am today quite drastically. i leaned very heavily on my mother for support somewhat selfishly. i was home in reclusion day and night and never thought how she might have been feeling. i went to talk to her one day and heard a slight whimper, i figured it was the television. of course it wasn't, my mother was not simply whimpering, she was sobbing almost uncontrollably. you may think it is weird to share such a memory with glee, but this was the exact moment i knew what a mother's love entailed. i wouldn't feel this feeling again until i held my son in my arms for the first time. i sat outside my mother's door and cried with her, i never told her.

my step-mother, let's go with Mrs. E, if i could have asked God for a specific step-mother she wouldn't be much different than Mrs. E; however, she would probably have smaller feet so that we could share shoes. i was maybe 12 or 13 when we met, she was dating my father and took me in when i had nowhere else to go. since the first evening i spent in her home, she has become such an inspiration and model for me i can't even begin to describe the sentiment i have for her. she's younger than my father and was in her twenties when she began to take responsibility for me but her maternal instincts kicked it right away and have never dulled or dimmed. the very first time i was allowed to have acrylic nails i went to a carnival. i felt so grown, every move i made showed off my hand and their ugly little nails (it wasn't a good look for me at the time, i can admit that). i was on a haunted house ride and something jumped out and scared the CRAP out of me, i swiped at it - because i clearly was a fighter - and ended up making contact with the tip of a nail. the pain was excruciating, but it was nothing like the actual sight, my nail, both acrylic and naturally grown, hanging on to a mere piece of flesh bleeding profusely. it took a while to calm me down once i got to her house, but she did and she took such good care of me - and always has. she bought me my own soda in her house, no one else to drink it. i was a teenager so clearly little things were important to me, but she has always been that for me, taking care without completely spoiling (well most of the times i was spoiled, but i learned from it ;P) simply because she wants to.

my mother-in-law-, Mrs. A, quite possibly the most loving woman i have ever met. life situations have made her more appreciative for everyday things and people than most and it shows in everything she does. not being involved in her children's life for many years, i was present at the reunion; the first time she had seen her children in, well not to divulge too much information, i'll say some years. i can't say hat i have one particular memory of her that is more special than others because every day with her is a joy. the same joy, i mean she literally treats people as if she might never see them again, she tells you how much you meant o her and how much she cares as often as she can. her spirit is beautiful, i simply love being in her presence. i guess if i had to narrow it down to one instance, it would be the very first time we met. she saw my husband and literally ran to him, tears in her eyes. they hugged and hugged and we were introduced. her grandson and future daughter-in-law. the look in her eyes spoke to me, "thank you for being there and taking care of my boy, i love you for that alone and we haven't spoken a word." my heart melted, i believe i cried as well (for the record, i am a cry baby).

i want to wish a HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY to all of the mother's out there, old and new. i know some wonderful women who are even better mothers and i want to acknowledge each of you and let you know that you are appreciated, i learn a lot from all of you and i love you for it!!!

this is my third mother's day, and i hope that my son will one day be able to share stories about his mother that touch his soul.

my thoughts on cerebral defenders...

2009-05-04T20:03:00.000-07:00

NONE!!! no, let me reiterate, N-O-N-E A-T A-L-L, not in the least or any degree smaller than that.

considering i had never watched a basketball game in it's entirety before i met my husband, i would consider myself quite knowledgeable on the subject. i know positions, i know their corresponding numbers, i know major players and a few minor ones, i even take the time to make up names for those i don't know.

i enjoy the games, if you've ever been to one of the man's games (even if you were seated with the opposing team in the rafters) you've heard me. i'm screaming at refs, "are you blind? you're not out there to just be pretty, if you're not going to call the game... GO HOME!", i'm cheering for our boys, "let's go fellas, five against seven? we can still do it! D-UP, LET'S GO!!!", i'm generally losing my voice, along with my mind. even my son has picked up on said emotion, (in his little voice) "let's go fellas, d-up! like that mommy?" i have had fans scream, threaten, throw things at... well people hate me, but it's my job (and i do it well might i add).

so when this man asks me during tonight's game, "baby, what is a cerebral defender," i can't help but wonder if he is kidding me. while he often tests my basketball knowledge, it is generally a quick, "who is this?" or, "what team does he play for?" cerebral defender??? GET OUT OF HERE! i have learned this game for this man, it is his passion and as a supportive spouse i learned it and enjoy it... but where do we draw the line? i don't ask him if he knows the difference between mac and bobbi brown bronzer!

so, it brings the question to mind... after all that we have learned to love, that we have sacrificed, all that we have given to and because of our relationships, do you think that your spouse does or would do the same???

me??? i do and don't. we all make sacrifices for our relationships and we have both made our fair share. he watches some of my shows with no complaints, but he'll never shop for more than an hour, he'll never understand why i want spiders dead and not simply put outside, and he thinks that i am the only person in the world (male or female) that rationalizes the way that i do. but all in all, "he catches me when i fall, accepts me flaws and all, and that's why i love him, " thanks beyonce.

new drapes....

2009-05-02T20:35:00.000-07:00

so, we've bought drapes for the formal living room and i am beyond excited (did i forget to mention this post's strong domestic influence? oh, well this post has strong domestic influence)! my husband and i have lived in our home for three years; actually, let me shed a bit more light on the situation, we've OWNED our home for nearly three years but have only inhabited it for a total of eight or nine months... maybe. during our brief stints i have never taken the time to completely furnish or decorate as i simply haven't had the time. for the few months that we are home in the off-season, i like to enjoy our home, decorating would COMPLETELY consume my time and attention, so i've decided not to begin something i will not have time to finish.

we have been blessed with the opportunity to be home a whole two months earlier than usual after winning the championship in Australia (GO DRAGONS!!!!!!!). these extra two months have meant everything to me. i come home with things almost everyday to accent a room. my husband looks at me as if i have lost my ever-decorating mind! but i am SOOOO very excited to make our house more of a home.

so, as i said we have new drapes. i love the color and the possibilities provides in adorning the room. now there's painting and carpet and - well everything else.

that's it, just a post about drapes. i'll try to be more entertaining next time ;).

let's role play!

2009-05-01T01:14:00.000-07:00

in a recent conversation with OverseasHousewife, i found that i was not alone in actively playing with my child. when i say active play, i don't mean a tickle here or a hop there. i mean on the floor rolling, dancing 'til we sweat, karate chopping, dressing up, spinning in the air, flipping on beds active. Pretending, singing, being his favorite characters from television, and acting out the shows... his imagination has no end.

i often think that my son must be the most hyper child in the world, without an "off" button, i am always pooped at the end of the day while he yearns for more. but two-year-olds, by and large, just don't stop. walking at eight months, i knew the boy was going to be a handful, and he certainly hasn't disappointed.

in parks, i find his level of intensity nearly matched by neighboring children and strangers, but he always goes that extra mile to show that they simply aren't ready. parents look at me sympathetically as if to say, "Poor woman, she is in on over her head," quite the contrary; the Lord knew what He was doing when he paired the three of us.

those of you with children of walking age, does your chid have an "off" button? if so, where can i find one?!?!

(note: this is all in fun, I LOVE that my son is active and we encourage it in each and every way. as long as he isn't too rough with other children, listens, is manner-able, and is continuously learning, we allow him to explore and engage himself as he sees-safely- fit)

pre-separation anxiety

2009-04-29T21:31:00.001-07:00

i have never been away from my son for 24 hours. i've mastered 10, do pretty well with 16, working on 18, but 24... i just don't know. i know this is probably quite ridiculous in that my son is nearly two and a half, but i have the luxury of being with him day and night and it hasn't grown old - yet ;).

the man and i have planned a trip to los angeles to spend mother's day weekend with my mom, she requested that we come out thursday so that she can have all day friday, saturday and sunday with her grandson. breaking my mother's heart is never on my agenda; however, i always seem to find my to-do-list has snuck its checked box into existence before i am prepared to set a clever diversion and avoid said catastrophe.

having bought tickets to a concert scheduled that friday evening, the waterworks and fit of disappointment seem inevitable. oh how i love my mother, let me count the TEARS!

our schedules often collide and mishaps like this seem to be a part of our routine, but not on mother's day. what a sorry excuse for a daughter this woman has, is this how i was raised?

now that i thoroughly hate myself, it's pertinent to mention the $210 concert tickets. i'd be selling myself short if i failed to touch on my compromise as well: i am MORE than willing to wake at the crack of dawn saturday morning so that my mother has saturday and sunday all to herself... but... this, this just won't do. by this point i am puling what little bit of hair hasn't fallen out from stress from it's fragile roots.

enter stage left-the hero, "can i come and get him on thursday?" YEEEEESSSSSSSSSSS!!! what a wonderful mother and Grammy.

cataclysm deterred.

enter stage right-premature perturbation. if she comes thursday evening, that means my son's room will be empty both thursday AND friday night. do you have any idea how many hours that is??? i already miss him.

no clever ending for this one, i know i'm being absurd, i know he will be fine and i will probably let loose with him gone, but he is still my baby and it requires a bit of letting go. in the words of the BY's (that would be the Backyardigans), "Float, flutter, fly!"

food for thought #1

2009-04-28T11:13:00.000-07:00

ok, my "food for thought" posts will be quick nuggets, generally something i thought about without time to create a full post. so many things run through my head that i generally am able to jot down or voice record (i know, i am absolutely corny for having a voice recorder; not to mention using it to store random thoughts - but hey, i'm a writer!), but now i can share them with you all! thank you for providing the opportunity... now i have to hurry and get to the gym so here it is:

i do not listen to rap very often, i once would listen to anything suggested to as being good. not that i have an ear for what is good in rap, but that's the relationship we shared, one of referral. our relationship progressed into one influenced by pop culture, whatever was on the radio was what i listened to. it wasn't a genuine concern from both parties, my side was openly lacking and it would only get worse. today we barely speak, if i hear it on the radio i tend to turn the station, a great rhythm will still pull me in however, i am a sucker for anything i can remember after hearing once (even t hough i fear that is probably the worst kind). i don't let my son listen to it and it puts the most arbitrary thought in my husband's head, needless to say, he limits the content of what goes in through his ear-gate as well.

(oh my goodness, spit it out already i have to go!) when i was an avid listener, my favorite by far was Jay Z. the Jay of old, Reasonable Doubt & Vol. 1, that Jay was my boy, not that today Jay is any less prolific, my life has changed so has my sentiment for his music. stay on track, one particular song had a line saying, "what you eat don't make me s#!t" (see why i don't listen to it anymore) referring to others in his personal business. this line implies that one can do as they please, not affecting others. i used to LOVE this line, it gave me more reason to believe that my actions affected no one other than me and people should not pay such close attention to what i did.

in my scripture reading this morning i found just how selfish and harmful this train of thought could be. 1 Corinthians 8:13 reads, "Therefore, if what i eat causes my brother to fall into sin, I will never eat meat again, so that I will not cause him to fall." Paul was writing a letter to the church in Corinth concerning the conditions there. This particular chapter discussed sacrificing food to idols, is speaks of Christians expressing their freedom to eat meat sacrificed to idols because they knew that it meant nothing, it did not hold the same meaning as to the pagans, it was just meat to them. however, Paul commented that if a weak-spirited Christian were to see them eating this meat which, to them and their limited understanding, is a sinful act and they to partake upon the meat, it make sit easier form them to do what they believe is wrong resulting in spiritual destruction.

i am by brothers keeper and my actions affect everyone around me and even those i do not know are looking. while i once longed for privacy from the judging eye, i now live my life open to be seen in hopes that my effort to do the right things and live by the Word as well as my testimony will encourage others.

that was a long quick note ;).

the proverbial line

2009-04-26T20:22:00.000-07:00

according to the urbandictionary.com, a broken home is defined as, "a house containing a family that is set apart due to tensions and certain problems. ex: a kid's parents constantly fight and he/she feels lonely, depressed, angry. that is a product of a broken home, who may usually get away from the problems by doing bad things (drugs,drink,etc...). broken home can range from a project in NY, a suburb, or ironically, a 5-story mansion".

i have a friend, who has a friend, who knows a young girl who, according to the afore mentioned definition, is the product of a broken home and may be experiencing heavy doses of verbal and mental abuse. this 10 to 11-year old tweenie is the oldest of three bi-racial siblings born to the same mother and father. an imprisoned recovering drug addict mother and a single father who despite his 'young at heart' nature and peculiar parenting technique, is doing everything in his power to raise his two daughters and middle son to be successful individuals. his efforts are to be applauded when in 2006 (it was the latest statistic i could find), there were 12.9 million one-parent families – 10.4 million single-mother families and 2.5 million single-father families, a number increasing from 1.2 million in 2000. men like this one are beginning to step to the plate and many do not receive recognition - I SEE YOU SINGLE FATHERS, keep your head up - as they tell single mothers.

i digress (as i tend to do). overweight, considered aloof and burdened with the sense of responsibility for her younger siblings; torn between her paternal african american heritage and that of her caucasian mother, she struggles with who she is or wants to be. with a younger brother often regarded as a little genius, a little sister whose dreary eyes and hair, literally down the length of her back, always adored and doted on, she herself has been referred to as fat, lazy, jealous, stupid, a bully, and pregnant. a certain family member continues tirades of abuse, showering the girl with insults and hurtful suggestions. one has even remarked, "how do you feel knowing that your mother would rather be on drugs than be with you."

i cringe at the mere thought. my eyes literally well up thinking of anyone, an adult man even, having to be on the receiving end of such comments.

have i tugged on your heartstrings enough??? okay, here's the question: at what point, if any, does one step in. not knowing this young woman or her family takes me out of the position to take action, but if i could, what would it be? what would be appropriate? as a Christian, i am called to defend the needy, this refers not only to the impoverished but also the oppressed and the weak. family matters are touchy however, many would consider it none of my business, noting it is not my family, nor my place. so i ask, where is the line of abuse drawn allowing one to cross and protect others. on the same note, where would you draw the line in reference to YOUR family???

funny thing happened on my way to work out this morning...

2009-04-24T15:43:00.000-07:00

i didn't work out! i woke up this morning, kissed the man good-bye (i brushed my teeth first of course), made oatmeal for the boy, made the beds, and headed out to the gym. i'm never excited to go to the gym but am always excited once i get there. not to mention, at the end of a good work-out my chest is puffed up with pride because i feel like i've done something... even if it had been my only visit to the gym that week.

however, this friday morning the gym-gods were not in my favor. upon arrival i took the boy to kids club, normally a quick exchange between the attending and i'm ready to go. not today, she wanted to talk and talk and talk. under any other circumstance i am the biggest chatterbox, but this morning i was on a mission. my body language screamed it, i kissed the boy bye about five times as a prelude to, "peace out," i even said, "thanks, see you in a bit," twice. i guess she needed a friend, so i obliged.

already set back, i headed to the basketball court to let the man and paul, his rebounders for the day, know that i had made it and was on the floor. i glance through the glass door and almost step back as i see my husband shooting alone. i am his normal rebounder and i know if he catches a glimpse of me i day off will turn into a day on. i stand there for a few seconds and realize i would be wrong to leave him hanging so i head. he lets me know that he has completed most of his work-out, just a few more two-dribble pull backs to go (he had to physically show me what these were, my bball knowledge has probably tripled over the past few years but pull back??? i know pull UP. sorry, i digress), he should have another 15-20 minutes max. Ten minutes in, "Can N____ D______ please report to the Kids Club?"-names concealed to protect the innocent, i don't know who all is reading this- what now?

apparently the boy is being too rough with the smaller children, too many hugs. we know he wants a younger sibling and we're working on it, he LOVES kids big and small. ok, apologize to the attendant (who talks for another five minutes) and the child who clearly doesn't care and i'm off again. back to rebounding. another 10 minutes, if that, "Can N____ D_____ please report to the KIDS CLUB?" are you kidding me? not sure how many of you have 24-hour Fitness memberships, but in the Kids Club employees are not allowed to help your child in the restroom in any way, if your child is stuck in the bathroom you have to come and help them out. by now i'm frustrated and irritated, the man is concerned that i am going to yell at the woman, i'm focusing on not yelling at the boy. much to my relief and dismay, he is no longer rough housing babies, he has urinated on himself. he let the attendant know he had to go to the restroom and she told him to wait for me. between my hearing the intercom and making it to the designated children's gym, he had an accident and i must go home. ARRGHHHHHHHHH!!!

needless to say, my chest was not puffed out, nor do i feel like i've done something, i just feel fat!;)
sorry for the long post, definitely a rant! have a nice weekend!

quite possibly the world's best

2009-04-24T10:46:00.000-07:00

(WARNING: this post is very housewife-esque, i tried to think of something intelligent to post about and drew a huge blank)
so, my husband considers himself a pancake connoisseur (of all things); he silently critiques each and every pancake he ingests, be it at home, a friends or a restaurant. wait, you haven't heard the best part, he is also under the impression that he makes the BEST pancakes in the world! i won't lie, his pancakes are good, but the best in the world??? we haven't traveled the world in it's entirety, but everywhere we have visited we have been sure to try their pancakes.ihop is by far his favorite, an australian restaurant "the pancake house" may be his second, i fall somewhere in between their moist, thick round cakes and denny's.

this brought me to wonder, what is my best dish? if i were to consider myself a "connoisseur" of anything, what would it be? tuna casserole is my favorite dish to eat hands down, but to prepare... i have no idea. i don't enjoy frying chicken, baked chicken is delicious but not fun to prepare or the most exotic. i love smoked salmon but have never prepared it properly. i lean heavily toward enchiladas but i'm sure there are plenty of people who make them much better than i do.

i am now in search of a dish to call my own. something that i can make for friends and family that they know they can't get anywhere else quite like my kitchen. what's your dish?

failing at failure

2009-04-23T09:51:00.000-07:00

i have never been averse to criticism, constructive or otherwise. i feel everyone has the right to share their opinion, and i feel growth can be found any kind of explication. many times people don't want to hear the truth-because it hurts- so i've adopted what i call the "knowing is growing" attitude.

i have heard men say that they cannot be 100% honest in relationships because there are certain things they cannot share with their spouse. i know when i'm gaining weight, so it doesn't hurt my feelings when my husband tells me so. if a literary piece is less than pleasing to someone and they share that with me, it helps me grow in my craft. for the most part, i can say my skin is pretty thick in regards to this matter.

failure... that's a different story. i know that i am not perfect, my shortcomings sometime outshine my abilities and i can deal with that. what i can not deal with is missing an opportunity because of said deficiencies. there have not been many times in life where i have failed, this is not because i am just that good (well, it may be;P), it is because my fear of failure often fuels a strong desire not to compete.

i know this is unacceptable, and i am working on it. this blog is a testament to my attempt. writing is and always has been my passion, during college i wrote a manuscript that i shopped around to be published, well a professor shopped it and i have never told my friends or family. there were no biters, no one who was even remotely interested. i did not take it as a personal attack on my literary expertise (or lack thereof) i instead decided to grow from it. change things up a bit. however, i took myself out of the game. i have since subconsciously refused to have another go at publishing, not out of fear that it will not be liked or accepted, but out of fear that they will not even give it the opportunity to be seen or heard.

it's lame, i know, but it's one of my idiosyncrasies. what's one of yours?

first thing's first... what is a housewife to you?

2009-04-21T18:17:00.000-07:00

before i began courting my now husband, i had a horde of things i imagined myself doing with my life, personally as well as professionally. becoming a housewife... not one of them. while i had no preconceived notions of women-or men, to be politically correct-who chose the home economic road, i always assumed that my yellow brick road led to a nine-to-five, eventually finding a man i could deal with and buying an over-priced home in los angeles county. glory to God that His plans far exceeded anything i could ever have hoped or dreamt for myself {"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."-Jeremiah 29:11}.

my choice to become a domestic engineer (sidebar: did you notice the name... A. Domestic Engineer??? you're not ready!) was not an easy one. i was conflicted on a number of levels, leaving my home-base of los angeles to be with a man, prematurely leaving a good job with tons of potential for advancement, surrendering my independence, and not to mention letting the Lord take the wheel. however, He showed me through His Word and in my life that if i let Him direct my steps He would NEVER let my foot slip. ultimately, i left it all behind for love; a love, respect and fear for the Lord and His direction and the love He put in my heart for a man who, like me, is in the world but not of the world.

i have since come across immeasurable amounts of naysayers and individuals who have deemed themselves arbitrators of an imaginary case between my choice and what they believe they would have chosen.

at the end of the day, i take comfort in my decision because i could not imagine my life or marriage any way other than the way the Lord has willed. i love waking up to my son knowing that our day will be spent together growing, learning and bonding. i love my obsession with taking care of my home, knowing that everything is in perfect order -yes, i am obsessive compulsive but it's okay. i love being there when my husband walks into our home and smiles at his happy, intelligent, loving son, immaculate home and adoring wife. i love fulfilling the Lord's will for my life and marriage, because when it is all said and done, it is His will... not mine.

what are your thoughts on the following article, purportedly of Housekeeping Monthly's, May 1955 publication.(CLICK IMAGE TO ENLARGE)
share your views and i will share mine... let's interact!

**************************UPDATE************************
there are a lot of things in the article that may seem a tad outlandish, but overall (and i know this is going to hit way off base for many) most of these things i do for my husband. not out of necessity or obligation even, but because i enjoy it.

now, my idea of marriage and the marriage relationship is not as antiquated as this article, my opinion counts, my conversation topics are important, etc.; however, i do want to make sure my husband is comfortable when he comes home. i do not begin complaining as soon as he walks in the door and i would hope he would do the same for me. he pitches in and does his part with the boy, the cleaning and other domestic responsibilities, but at the end of the day the home is my domain. i take care of EVERYTHING regarding my home and that includes it's inhabitants.

most importantly, and i know this will probably cause an uproar, the Word specifically states, "Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands..."-1 Peter 3:1. i live by the Word, not some of it, ALL of it. while my husband does not rule over me, in taking a vow to the Lord in regard to our union, i made the commitment to complete him as he has completed me. don't get me wrong, the Bible also gives distinct instructions of how a husband should treat his wife, not taking advantage of her or using his title as "husband" to mean "lord", i serve one lord and that is my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

i know in sharing this information many may judge or possibly lose respect for me as a woman, but i know that (cliche coming, you've been warned) only God can judge me and i am not ashamed or embarrassed by the decisions i have made. if one were to visit my home they would see the love and respect we have for one another and our respective roles in the household.